Falling for?... Shit. My nerves hit me like a punch to the gut. Am I ready to dive head first into the deep end again? I shake my head in astonishment as I slick my fingers throughmy hair. Sydney’s fingers running through it are a much better alternative. I wonder what tonight will be like considering the last time I was with a woman. I sigh. I remind myself again that Jenna would want me to be happy. I don’t feel guilty anymore, but it doesn’t change the fact that I will always miss her. It’s great that Sydney seems to get that. She hasn’t pushed the intimacy issue and has waited for me to make that choice in my own time. I’m ready now. I’ve been yearning to feel her bare skin underneath my fingertips. Today, in that little piece of scrap cloth she called a bathing suit was as close to bare as we’ve come, and her legs wrapped around my waist felt so right. I just have to concentrate on making it through dinner.
After starting the grill, I go inside to start the fire so we have a nice place to curl up and sip on some of the red wine I bought. By the time the fire is starting to lick up the fresh logs, Sydney is lightly rapping her knuckles on the patio door.
“Come on in, hun,” I call out, taking a deep breath to settle my nerves, knowing that there’s no going back now. Not that I want to. I just want it to be everything Sydney’s imagined. I’m nervous as fuck. It’s been years.
I stand and turn to see my beautiful girl. She’s certainly something with that sexy, flowing hair and glowing skin. She’s wearing a casual, thin-strapped, grass green summer dress which makes her eyes shine even brighter. She’s got on her pair of pale gold, strappy thong sandals, and her toes are that flaming red color I love on her. She’s magnificent.
“I see you like what you’re looking at. My view’s not too bad either.” She smiles wide, turning to go put our dessert in the fridge and drop her leather tote on the kitchen counter. She pulls out a bar stool at the island and sits as I make my way into the kitchen to her.
“So, what’s on the menu for tonight? And what does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?”
“Mmmm, well, I guess that depends on the lady and what she wants.” I press my hands on either side of the island top, caging her in, kissing her softly, then I ask, “Are you up for wine?”
“Exactly what I was going to ask for,” Sydney answers a little breathily, and my pulse quickens.
“I have steaks or chicken, got a preference?”
“Steak sounds amazing right now.”
“Sweet,” I voice huskily, “a woman who loves a big juicy steak, and she’s all mine. What did I ever do to deserve you?” I snicker as I hand Sydney her glass of wine, pecking her lips before going to pull our food out of the fridge. I take the steaks out to the patio grill and check the heat.
“I think we should switch that question around, seeing as you have been the one to feed me twice today.” Sydney follows me, shutting the screen door behind her just as I plop the steaks on the grill.
“I had such a great time with you today, Syd.” I turn to face her and shove my hands in my pockets by the grill, feeling a little vulnerable, but when I look at her, I realize that’s okay. “I don’t think you realize how much my life has changed since you walked into my clinic with those kittens.”
A soft smile stretches across her beautiful face as she looks up at me from her seat. “Today definitely makes my top ten best days ever, with many more bests to come. Including this meal. Especially this meal. As hungry as I am, it’ll probably be the best meal I’ve had this whole week. Bonus, I didn’t have to cook it. Come on, let’s get the rest of the food ready while those cook.”
I bend down to kiss her again before she can stand. I whisper against her lips, “There will definitely be many more bests to come.” She shivers a little before offering a little sound of agreement. I hold out a hand to help her up from the chair,following her back into the house. While she works on getting the salad ready, I check on the baked potatoes I have going in the oven.
When I return a couple minutes later from flipping the steaks, I take in Sydney at the counter tossing the baby spinach and a dijon vinaigrette with some tongs. The view is nice, and I settle back against the counter to admire. It’s been so long since I’ve seen a woman preparing food in this kitchen. It kind of sets off a fuzzy feeling in my stomach accompanied by another pang of desire. The delicate line of her neck and shoulder are begging to be kissed, and I won’t deny myself any longer. I push off the counter and walk over to her. I splay my fingers across her belly, and with my free hand, I pull back her silky tresses to kiss where her neck and shoulder meet. Sydney draws in a surprised breath before melting under my touch with a soft sigh.
“Hey, now, I can only concentrate on so many things at once, and you, sir, are making it quite difficult for me,” Sydney jokes, a little breathless.
“I just couldn’t help myself any longer.” The oven timer beeps, interrupting before I can gather her in my arms and sweep her off to the bedroom, or couch for that matter. Wherever we happen to make it first. “Ah, looks like our food should pretty much be done. Take the potatoes out of the oven for me, if you don’t mind, while I go grab the steaks.”
“No problem. Take those plates with you. Can we eat dinner outside?”
“Sounds good. The breeze shouldn’t be too strong.”
I take the plates from her hands, eyeing her as she grabs oven mitts and bends over to retrieve the potatoes. Her dress stretches across her butt nicely, and I can feel the front of my pants tightening. Before she notices, I slip out the sliding door to grab the steaks off the grill and regain control of my situation.
Dinner is fantastic, and the wine pairing is the perfect finish. We’ve both had a generous glass and are feeling quite relaxed. After cleaning up everything and throwing the dishes in my dishwasher, we take what’s left of the wine to the couch by the fire. I refill our glasses, finishing off the bottle.
“It’s so much better sipping wine by the fireplace with company instead of alone,” Sydney says as she slips off her sandals, stretching her legs across my lap. I sigh in contentment, smoothing a palm over the soft skin of a calf and grab a foot to start rubbing. She lets her head fall back, clearly loving the way my fingers knead into her flesh.
“Well, there’s always Bitsy to keep you company.”
Sydney giggles, tipping her face back toward me, her eyes following the movements of my thumbs against her arch. “It’s not the same. She’s definitely a cuddle bug, but I prefer where I am right now.”
I put an arm around the back of the couch, pulling her to snuggle closer, and she doesn’t object. Things are shaping up quite nicely so far. I move on to her other foot.
“No doubt about that.” I shift, picking my wine glass up off the table behind us and taking another sip when I notice Sydney eyeing a picture of Jenna playing with Amy on the beach.
“That picture was taken a month before the accident. It’s the last picture I ever took of Jenna. We’d been working on her garden in the back that weekend, and Amy couldn’t stand not being the center of attention anymore. She’d decided to run in between us, knocking over a freshly planted ceramic planter Jenna had just bought. Amy looked so pitifully guilty; we couldn’t yell at her. All we could do was laugh. So Jenna grabbed a ball, and they went out to play fetch while I cleaned up the mess. I wish you could’ve seen them together. Those two were meant for each other.”
“I’m glad you have good memories of her. I bet she was wonderful, Colin.”
“She was,” I say, smiling warmly at Sydney while pushing down any emotions trying to surface. Tonight is about us. Not Jenna, who I can’t do anything about anymore.