“I have a bit of a jealousy problem,” he mumbled, and I chuckled.
“Baby, there’s no competition. Ever. I’ll retire. Get a tattoo over my scar. Blind anybody who looks at me before you can.”
“You don’t have to blind people,” he said. “But it’s real sweet that you would.”
I kissed the side of his head. “I’d do anything for you, Solnyshko.”
He smiled and started connecting the dots he made. “Forty is too young to retire.”
Fucking brat.
“I was worked up, alone, and I had nothing to distract myself. I should’ve stayed at the studio, or you could buy me a pet. Mr. Thomas got Toby a kitten.”
“I’ll buy you ten.”
He kissed my arm. “I want a goat.”
The fuck?
“I read they can help with anxiety. Yoga and Tai Chi. A cuddle companion for when you aren’t here. I’ll name him Hay Hay.”
He was fucking cute, and though I didn’t yield to anyone, I did for him.
I owned him, but hell, he owned me too.
“I’ll fucking think about it,” I said.
He was so pretty when he pouted.
“How about you tell your Papa what else your father has done to upset you?”
Luis and I needed to have a chat.
Whatever my baby revealed would determine whether that chat would end with my fist in his face.
Fingers curling, Marcos inhaled, and then set his markers aside. His hands found my chest, fingers spreading across my skin as he shifted. Our foreheads touched, and his limbs got heavier. Like everything he said next was a weight he needed my help to hold.
“My father is just a product of his grief, and for as haunted as my brain is, his is much worse. He wants to fix shit that’s better off broken, and when he fucks it up, my mama and I have to sacrifice something of ourselves to make it better again. He’s a master when it comes to guilt, toying with it just enough that I can’t not love him. Even when I hate him.”
The familiar smell of ink touched my nostrils, and I realized then that he was drawing again, dragging a marker over my chest. Not really coloring, but just moving, giving his energy somewhere to go while his stare stayed fixed on me.
“Do you remember that day in the hospital when I swore I wasn’t afraid of you? And you looked like maybe you thought it was impossible? For someone like menotto be afraid of someone like you?”
“Yes.”
I already wasn’t a fucking fan of where this conversation was going.
“Truth is, I grew up around men that scared me. I know what it feels like to want to run, and I’ve never wanted to run around you. Even then, I only wanted to stay.”
Tension coiled in my body, and I knew he could feel my muscles quivering. Hand on his chin, I let out a breath that was half-growl, half-curse. “Who are these men, and what the fuck are they doing coming around you?”
“Luis sort of forced himself to keep living after Manny. He moved us to Seattle, bought a building, and opened the accounting firm he was supposed to before my brother was diagnosed. We lived in the apartment above it, and for a while, I think he pretended Manny was just on vacation somewhere. It didn’t hit him in the face until the medical bills started to show up. I was too young to really understand, but I knew it was bad when The Wolf started coming around.”
“A wolf?”
“Thewolf. Luis borrowed money from him. Thought he could make all our problems go away, but he only made shit worse. He’ll be handing that man money until one of them dies. It’s why our business looks so shitty and why I show up to work every day. He can’t afford actual help, and no one is insane enough to work for the wage I do. Somehow, he’s made me believe that not being enough for Manny ismydebt, and I’ll never be done paying either.”
The pound in my chest slowed to an ominous thud. My body was still, but something in my gut simmered. A vile of calm covered me, but it was black. Thick. Fake.