If she’s trouble, she’ll be Zack’s problem, not mine. When you have more than a billion dollars, you can pay to make all your problems go away – even an annoying wife.
“I hope it won’t take long to find someone sufficiently desperate enough to marry you,” my brother adds, getting up and sassily walking out of my office. I sigh with relief once he leaves. I have never met a more snide and critical person in my life.
“Take your time,” I grumble.
I hope he doesn’t disappoint me with whatever wife he churns up from the underbelly of our country’s new social programs to encourage marriage. My brother knows if I don’t like this wife, she’ll become his problem, and I’m hoping that will motivate him enough.
Whatever he does, I hope Zack doesn’t disappoint me. I’m not really the type to settle down and he knows that.
Chapter Two
Cullen
I’m twenty-eight years old, couldn’t find a single job that would employ a Women & Gender Studies major after college, and I didn’t last fifteen minutes teaching at that all boys’ private school before I decided unemployment suited me better. Unfortunately, I made a huge mistake. The government was supposed to make my student loans disappear. Considering they have something like trillions of dollars that they spend on weapons and all that jazz, I thought we could cast a couple votes and I wouldn't have to worry about that looming $300,000 of student loan debt they let me take out to study at Cazenovia College.
By the way, our school shut down completely so there’s nobody left to give me a copy of my transcript or a recommendation if I ever need it. The government didn’t do anything about the student loans and changed hands again. I got a letter in the mail. They would seize my family’s house, or I could enter this weird dating app marriage lottery the government started to promote the “American family”.
I wish I had moved to Europe before they banned visa-free travel for American travelers, but with all my debt it’s way too late for me. Nobody knows that I put in a secret application tothe lottery. I’m single, have no roster, and dating these days is filled with horrible men who are evilandbroke.
All the guys participating on the husband side of the marriage lottery are incredibly wealthy – but most likely completely fucked up mentally – and the women are like me. In debt. Debt so high the government will ruin your entire life if you don’t do something about it.Now.I entered the marriage lottery assuming I would be safe, honestly. I mean… It's well known that people don’t win the lottery.
Not to mention my looks and the amount of debt I’m looking to pay off.
In terms of my looks, I’m beyond average. And I’m a Black woman. The way this country is going, everyone has made it quite clear what they think about me and women who look like me. Then I get an email with an inquiry, and my entire life changes.
Dear Cullen Jenkins-Scott,
You have an inquiry from our National Make Marriage Great Again Act Benefactor. Click the link below to sign into your online portal and view your prospective future husband.
Wishing you a happy, successful and fruitful American marriage.
Congressman Paul Riley
Ugh. This government is so fucking weird, but this is it – my one chance to get rid of my college debts and have a chance at a lifewith a roof over my head that I don’t have to share with three to four diabolical, unhinged roommates.
If I go through with this, everyone in my life will think I’m out of my fucking mind. But they don’t have to live with the weight of knowing the government will seize all of my wages and even my parents’ assets. I enter my password and sign into the portal to read all the documents provided about my future husband, starting with his biographic data…
Name: Padraic Tyler
Blood Type: O+
Height: 6’5”
Age: 34 years old
Would it be criminal for them to include a picture? It’s unfair. I had to submitseveralpictures to this website along with my height, weight, a blood sample and more. This Padraic guy sounds… I don’t know. Tall.
Truthfully, the biographic data doesn’t matter. I’m not here for a hot husband, I’m here for the money. I click on the financial offer and my ass almost sinks through the chair.
I would have to be out of my mind to say no to this offer.
Then again, I would have to be out of my mind to say yes.
Chapter Three
Padraic
A few weeks later