The words have already spilled out before I realized what I'm saying, and I can only gasp, embarrassed and panicky. I can't believe I said that, much less have the audacity to believe—
"Shouldn't I be?"
W-What is he saying?
"I already made it clear I want to marry you," he grits out. "So why would you think I wouldn't be jealous?"
He suddenly charges forward like a man going on offense, and the next thing I know, my back is up against the mirror, and his hands have come down on either side of me, palms flat against the glass, caging me in.
This fitting room that once felt incredibly spacious, with its own chaise and round table—
The whole place suddenly feels claustrophobic and tiny, and I can only tell myself that's the only reason I'm struggling to breathe and stay still.
It's the only reason.
It has to be the only reason.
"You just told me you want to be beautiful—"
"B-But I didn't!"
I didn't mean to gasp, but he just has me so shocked. And when the words actually stop him from speaking—
"I never said I wanted to be beautiful," I can't help insisting on saying the same thing because it matters to me that he knows I'm not lying.
"So you just want to check your appearance, is that it?"
The sharpness of his words is painfully offset by the tautness of his tone, and it makes my heart ache again. It still doesn't feel right, for my heart to ache for another man like this, but when I see the way his jaw has clenched—
"You don’t understand,” I say shakily. “I just want to make sure there's nothing about my appearance—"
How can I protect my pride at the cost of his?
"—that would let him know what happened to me."
My voice catches at the end, but I force myself to continue.
"I don't want Sandy or anyone else again to ever think I'm easy to take advantage of."
Chapter Nineteen
SHE DOESN'T WANT TObe beautiful for her ex.
It takes a while for that to sink in, but when it finally does...
My palms come away from the mirror. I take a step back. Then another. My chest doesn't feel as tight, and when I look at Nicole, it's no longer with the eyes of a man made crazy by jealousy.
And that's why, this time I notice that her hair has been finger-combed too many times, and that she's a lot paler than usual. It makes me think of a surefire way of bringing color to her cheeks, but since I know by now how seriously Nicole takes her wedding vows, never mind if the man she married is her exact opposite and thinks of their marriage as nothing but a piece of paper—
"We still have time," I tell her.
"For what?"
She has her answer ten minutes later, when the boutique's stylist comes in to blowdry her hair and add an artificial touch of pink to her cheeks. By the time the stylist is done, Heidi and Judy are nodding with approval, but only after looking at me knowingly, which I decide to ignore.
"You look beautiful," Heidi says with a smile.
"I won't be surprised if your husband wants you back," Judy adds.