NINETEEN
FORD
Another tear sliddown the side of Royce’s face.
She didn’t know I was watching her sleep, or try to sleep. Our dads were all gone, out on the run to try and find a doctor for Uncle Silas. Our moms were in with Aunt Natty, holding her while she tried not to lose it. Rook and Ryle were in here with us, awake. I knew they were awake because we were all feeling the same thing tonight.
Which was why I was watching the salty tear drop roll down Royce Quinn’s face.
We were scared.
The Christmas tree was lit, glowing in the corner with the few decorations we managed to find. Fire still crackled in the hearth, and with all of our blankets, we were cozy. We’d pulled all the cushions off the big sectional and made a huge mattress on the floor, then covered it in blankets and pillows.
It was Christmas Eve, and while we’d tried all day to go with the flow and be happy, we were all finally letting our emotions out. Our fears and worries.
All I really wanted to do though was wipe that tear off Royce’s cheek and then hug her so tight, she didn’t shed anymore. Her dad was out there,but so was mine. We were both scared, so I wasn’t even sure what to say to encourage her.
So I just watched her cry, committing each and every tear to memory. It was a new form of torture, but I’d been a jerk to her so I deserved it. I just continued to remind myself that each time my heart felt that little punch, the tug and pull to fix it, that it was a punishment for always being so mean. She’d never know the reason I was mean, or why it would be impossible for me to ever really be nice. My mouth still tingled from kissing her cheek earlier…she never said anything about it, and I hoped she never would. Royce Quinn would end up with Connor, that’s just how it was going to be. Connor said so when he was like five, and ever since then he’d been warning me away from her, even if he hadn’t come right out and said it.
I didn’t mind though. I liked to admire her from afar, but I was also angry with her and how her father had inherited the club when it wasn’t his to have. Still, I shouldn’t put that on Royce; it wasn’t her fault and I knew how badly she worried.
But it had to be okay, it was Christmas.
Bad things didn’t happen during such a happy time of year.
The idea sparked something in my mind. A memory my mom had shared about something my grandpa used to do with her. I sat up and threw the blankets off my legs, then carefully maneuvered toward the church where my dad always disappeared for meetings with the other members of the club. Mom had decided to set up our crafting station in there today.
I flipped on the light and shut the door, then started dumping the popsicle sticks and cotton balls out of the glass jars out on the table. There were only a few jars, but it would have to do. Once they were empty, I started pouring various containers of glitter into the jars. There was a red jar, a green jar, blue and gold.
There was only enough to fill each one halfway, and once the lid was secured, I walked back to the room, seeing all the kids sitting up in their spot, waiting for me to return.
“What is that?” Nova asked, swiping the hair out of her face.
Ellie was next to her, and when she caught sight of what I had, sheperked up. “Did you make the wish jars like Mommy used to make with Grandpa?”
I nodded, rounding the couch and handing a jar to one kid from each of the four families. Rook took one, Connor took one, then Taryn and lastly, Ellie held the one for our family.
“My mom said she’d make these jars with my grandpa when she was a kid. In this very club, and when she’d make her wish, she’d bury the jar outside. Since we’re all waiting on a miracle to bring our dad’s back. I figured we could all go bury a jar outside.”
Royce stood up and held her hand out to her sister. Their golden hair was braided back, their warm pajamas were holiday themed with snowflakes. I missed the ones she wore with unicorns on them. I watched Royce’s gaze lift to mine, then hold there for a second.
“Let’s go wish for our miracle before Santa comes.”
All the kids got up, moving together as we quietly moved to the back where our boots were. Then once we were all wearing our gear, we slipped outside, holding the jars.
A large, full moon shone overhead, casting light over the white snow that crunched under our boots as we walked. Our breaths clouded in front of us, but there was something about being outside on Christmas Eve in the dark, under the pale moon that felt magical.
“How are we supposed to dig? The ground is frozen,” Rook asked, kicking his boot through the snow.
I hadn’t thought of that.
Staring down at the snow, I felt my face flush until Royce bent down, pushing her knees into the snow and cradling her jar.
“We can bury it in the snow. Maybe that’s the only way it would work on Christmas Eve, anyway. Maybe this is how we access the magic.”
Taryn joined her in the snow, both of their pajamas would be ruined now. Then Rook followed suit with Ryle and Ellie. Then Connor and Nova, until we were all in a circle. I was the last to kneel in the snow, but once I was on the ground, we all started gently pushing the snow away, so a small crater formed.
“What do we say?” Taryn asked, staring down at her gold glitter.