Page 3 of An English Bear in Berlin

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Time away.

I stared at the desk, at the neat arrangement of papers, the stillness of the room pressing in around me.

My entire life, reduced to a process.

“How long will this take?” I asked.

“It is difficult to give an exact timeframe,” the HR representative said. “We would hope to conclude the investigation within several weeks.”

Severalweeks.

I nodded, even though the number felt abstract and meaningless. “And if I refuse to ‘take some time away’?” I air-quoted.

HR Guy met my gaze. “I would strongly advise against that. Failure to comply with a precautionary suspension could itself become a disciplinary matter.”

Silence settled over the room.

The principal’s voice softened. “Kieran, I appreciate this is a great deal to take in, but we have a duty to follow procedure. That protects you as much as it protects the student.”

I stared at her. This didn’t feel like protection.

It felt like the ground shifting beneath my feet. Sinking.

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked, my voice barely audible.

HR Guy closed his folder, and Dr. Williams leaned back in her chair. “For now, you go home.” Another pause. “And you let us do our jobs.”

I sat there for a moment longer, then gave a small, numb nod. “Right.”

“And I’d advise you to contact your union rep,” HR Guy added.

That brought everything into sharp focus.

There was nothing else I could say in the circumstances.

I pushed my chair back and stood, aware of both of them watching me.

“Someone from my department will be in contact shortly with further details,” HR Guy added.

I didn’t reply, but turned and walked out of the office, the door closing softly behind me.

The corridor beyond felt unfamiliar, as though I was seeing it for the first time.

Or the last.

By the time I reached the exit, the only thought left in my mind was a single, disorientating certainty.

Everything has just changed.

The tram came to a halt, and I focused on the platform sign.

Shit, this is my stop.

I dived out of my seat and hurled myself through the doors before they closed. The slope to the pavement didn’t feel solid beneath my feet. My heart pounded.

How am I going to break this to Diana?

I walked slowly along the leafy street, the happy sound of birds chirping so incongruous, a lead weight in my stomach. The accusation replayed itself in my mind, each time sounding more unreal.