I’m not walking away from this. I’m not closing it down.
Nor was I restoring the distance I’d always relied upon. Right then I was trying to understand where we stood now that the words had been spoken.
Kieran slowed at a crossing, his attention shifting to the traffic, then back ahead.
“You don’t have to pretend it didn’t happen,” he said quietly. His words were calm, but underneath them I sensed disappointment. Then he turned to me, and I saw clearly the effort it was taking for him not to push further. His face was tight, his brow furrowed.
I could end it here. I could give him clarity, restore the balance.
I took a deep breath. “It didn’t go unnoticed.”
His expression didn’t alter, but again, I sensed he was waiting for more.
I almost gave it. The words were there, clear, formed, and ready.
This is not something I want to walk away from.
That was the simple, uncomplicated truth, but it was also dangerously incomplete. Because saying that would have been irresponsible.
I held his gaze, aware of the pull of the moment, tugging me forward into something that could not be undone.
“I just need a little time to think,” I said instead.
I knew the moment I said it that it was the wrong answer. It wasn’t inaccurate but it wasn’t sufficient.
Kieran stared at me, then nodded. “Right.”
That was worse.
I let the silence return as we resumed walking, my hands settling into my pockets as I grounded myself in the familiar.
It didn’t work.
Saying nothing created distance. Saying something created consequence.
I found myself uncertain which one I was more reluctant to face.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Stefan
Karl openedthe door before we had the chance to knock twice, and my first impression was that he had the look of a professor about him. I imagined his students would have squirmed when those sharp eyes alighted on them.
He reminds me of a teacher who saw everything. We used to say he had eyes in the back of his head.
I wondered how much Karl would see.
His gaze moved first to Kieran, then to me, and I felt the cool weight of assessment.
Kieran stepped aside. “Stefan, this is Karl.”
I inclined my head, and he mirrored the gesture.
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said, his tone neutral.
I gave a polite smile. “Should I be concerned?”
His eyes sparkled. “The jury is still out, as the Americans say.” He stepped back, allowing us inside.