It was something we were entering together, and that required more of me than I had originally intended to give.
Kieran
I felt the first contact a moment later, but not in the way I expected. It landed softer, broader, spreading across my skin before fading.
I blinked, surprised, then let out a breath.
“It builds,” Stefan told me.
The second came a little stronger, then the third, and with each blow Stefan got into his stride. The initial surprise faded, replaced by a warmth that spread, layered, building with each pass. My breathing changed again, becoming slower, deeper, as if my body had found something to follow.
“That’s it,” Stefan murmured. “Beautiful boy.”
His words floated over me, and I held onto them,clungto them.
Each contact landed, lingered, then gave way to the next, the rhythm pulling me further into the moment, further away from everything else. I stopped thinking about what it was, stopped analysing it, and simply?—
Felt it.
The room disappeared. The noise. My awareness of anyone else. All of it fell away until there was only the measured movement behind me, the impact of soft leather, the steady grounding of his voice when he spoke, the certainty of his control—and my response to it.
Stefan paused. “Still good?”
“Yes.” This time there was no hesitation at all. It feltright, for this moment, with him. BecausenowI got it. With each strike, I felt new sensations, and with each breath, I grew closer to understanding my own desires.
I could love this.
Each time the leather grazed my skin, I felt powerful and so utterly in control. I was accepted, not just by Stefan but by every man in that room. I feltheldby him.
He doesn’t judge me.
He’s helping me to be more open to who I am.
Who I could be.
The rhythm slowed gradually, until at last it stilled, and its absence left a different kind of awareness in its wake. Something quieter, deeper.
“Come back to me.” Stefan’s low voice pierced the fog of sensation that surrounded me, and just like that, the room returned. I became aware of myself again, of where I was.
Stefan crouched in front of me, unfastening the cuffs. He stroked my face. “Are you all right?”
I nodded, unable to get the words out that would fully convey what was going on inside me. My body felt… different.
Stefan helped me to stand, then guided me through the room, my legs unsteady, one hand light at my back. He led me into a quieter space, removed from the low hum of conversation and the other more exuberant noises, where the air felt cooler, easier to breathe. There was a couch, soft light, and stillness.
I lay on my front, my head on a cushion, and he brought me a bottle of water. The shift from standing to lying down made me more aware of everything again, the warmth, the lingering sensations, the way my body hadn’t quite decided what to do with it all yet. The coolness of the water grounded me, bringing me back into myself piece by piece.
Then cool fingers moved over my back, and I sighed.
“That feels so good. It smells good too. What is it?”
“It’s a cream that contains aloe. It will help.”
I closed my eyes and let him spread it over my warmed skin, inhaling its pleasant scent.
When he was done, Stefan sat on the floor next to me, giving me space, watching me.
For a few moments, neither of us spoke, but the quiet didn’t feel empty.