Eleanor scoffed at that, quickly concealing it by pretending to clear her throat. She could not believe that he would invent such a thing, rather than being honest about what he had said.
Then again, she considered, Lily was rather too young for that. He could have simply said that he had said something unkind, which Eleanor considered meant he did not think he had done anything wrong at all.
"I was not feeling well this morning, no," she lied. "That is why I was not hungry."
Lily nodded, accepting that easily, and she did not move away.
"May I sit with you?" she asked, already half-turning toward the bench.
Eleanor hesitated. Before, she would have welcomed it without thought, and made space for her immediately, but now such a decision did not come as easily. When she had first joined the household, there was an expectation that she would not try to mother the girl. She would be a friend, perhaps, but she was not to overstep her boundaries. With all that had happened, she no longer knew where the line was drawn, for Lily had never allowed such a thing to be in place.
Still, she could not refuse her.
"Of course," Eleanor said at last, shifting slightly to allow her space.
Lily climbed onto the bench beside her without hesitation, settling in close in a way that might have felt natural before, but now made Eleanor aware of every inch of distance she had chosen to maintain.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Lily leaned slightly toward the book in Eleanor’s hands.
"What are you reading?" she asked.
Eleanor glanced down at it, knowing she had not truly been reading it at all. In truth, she could hardly remember what it was even about.
"A novel," she said. "Though I fear I have not made much progress this morning."
Lily considered that, then looked up at her again.
"I like it when you read to me," she said. "Could you do it now?"
The words were simple, and yet they settled heavily. Eleanor felt it immediately, the quiet expectation beneath them, the assumption that things would continue as they had before, that nothing needed to change simply because it had for her.
She kept her voice steady.
"Perhaps another time," she said.
Lily frowned slightly in confusion. Eleanor could hardly blame her for that, as she never refused her requests. She considered, however, that that was because Lily never asked for anything difficult.
"Why not now?"
Eleanor paused, searching for something that would make sense without revealing more than she intended.
"I think you may prefer to play outside this morning," she said. "It is far too fine a day to sit still."
Lily did not seem convinced.
"I can do both. I can play while you read."
Eleanor allowed a small smile, though it did not quite reach her eyes.
"I am certain you can, but that does not mean it is a good idea."
Another pause followed. Lily shifted slightly beside her, her usual ease dimming just enough to be noticeable.
"You are different today," she said. "You sound like my brother."
Eleanor looked at her then, properly, for the first time since she had arrived.
"What do you mean?"