Julian exhaled slowly, forcing his thoughts back into order. It was for the best, for her, as much as for himself. She would not remain caught in something undeserving of her, something that offered more in one moment and withdrew it in the next. That was not a position he would place her in, regardless of what she believed she wanted.
He could not afford to trust what lay between them.
He turned toward the gardens, the quieter paths offering a distance he could not find within the house. The air outside was cooler, the morning light softening everything it touched, though it did nothing to settle the tension that still lingered in his temples.
A small figure appeared ahead of him before he had gone far.
Lily sat on the low stone wall near the edge of the path, her legs swinging slightly as she watched something in the distance, and she turned the moment she noticed him approaching.
"Julian!"
Her voice carried easily, unguarded in the way it always was with him, though there was something in her expression now that made him slow as he drew closer.
"I missed you yesterday," she said.
"Did you? I was only away for a few mere hours."
She slid from the wall and stepped toward him, her attention fixed entirely on him.
"It felt much longer. You have been home a lot more since your wedding."
Julian considered that. It was true that he had been more available than before, and he knew that was in part due to him enjoying his wife’s company, but had it truly been that different?
"I was looking for you while you were gone."
"I had business in town."
She accepted that without question, though her focus did not shift.
"I was with Eleanor," she said. "We spent the day together."
Julian’s gaze lowered slightly.
"Were you?"
"Of course! It was such fun, though she was not as she usually is."
Julian did not respond immediately. Eleanor must have been so happy the day before, convinced that everything had changed, and he had ruined it. Lily tilted her head slightly, studying him with a seriousness that did not belong to her age.
"Did something happen?"
"No," he said. "Nothing of consequence, at least."
She seemed to consider that, though not entirely convinced. He did not blame her for that, as it was a lie. After a moment, her attention shifted, though not away from him entirely.
"Will she come back, do you think?" she asked.
Julian’s brow furrowed slightly.
"Eleanor is not leaving, I– did she go somewhere this morning?"
Lily shook her head faintly, as though correcting him.
"Not her."
He stilled. There was no need for clarification. The question had been asked before, in different ways and at different times, but there was always the same quiet expectation beneath it.
"She will," he said. "One day."