“To what?”
“To everything I nearly lost.”
Eleanor’s attention softened slightly at that, though she did not turn it into something heavier than it needed to be.
“You did not lose it,” she said.
“I came close.”
“But you did not.”
A servant approached to announce that dinner was ready, and the group began to move toward the dining room. Julian offered his arm without thinking, and Eleanor accepted it just as naturally, as though it had always been that way between them.
As they entered, the table already set, the candles lit, the room warm with quiet anticipation, Eleanor thought of something that had crossed her mind several times of late. What she had was no longer an arrangement. It was a life, one that extended beyond the two of them, one that included others, that allowed for presence, for connection. Eleanor glanced at him as they took their places.
“You are thinking again,” she smiled.
“I am.”
“Should I be concerned?”
“Not at all.”
“Then you may continue to do so, and should you wish to share such thoughts with me, I would be delighted to hear them.”
He did not look away from her as the others settled around them, and as Eleanor’s hand found his beneath the table, she understood that he did not wish to. That was just as well, for she did not want him to stop looking at her either, even if they would eventually have to continue entertaining those in attendance.
After dinner, the house had taken on a warmth that had little to do with the candles or the late evening air.
Conversation filled the drawing room with an ease that felt natural. Eleanor had taken a position a small distance from everyone else so that she could merely observe for a while, as she was with child and it made her tired long before it usually did. Suddenly, she blinked and Anne had joined her, her attention flicking toward Julian before returning to her.
“He has not taken his eyes off of you for the last quarter hour,” she said.
“I was not aware you were counting.”
“I was not,” she replied. “It became apparent without any real effort.”
At that moment, Julian appeared and offered his arm to Eleanor, and she accepted without hesitation, her hand settling against his sleeve as though it had always belonged there. He was aware of the subtle shift in attention from those around them, but he was growing to enjoy it. Eleanor had enjoyed watching his confidence grow, and the way he liked to be among others instead of hiding away. They were both healing at last, something that had been such a long time coming.
Suddenly, he cleared his throat and commanded attention. Their guests all fell silent as they turned to look at them both. Eleanor bristled slightly, knowing that this was the moment, but she knew it would be a pleasant experience. They were in a room filled with people that loved and supported them, and that would only grow soon enough.
Julian did not rush it. He placed his glass aside, his voice calm when he spoke.
“I would like to thank you all for coming tonight,” he began. “It was not something we had a lot of notice for, which as you know is rather unlike us, but I am slowly learning that that can be a good thing.”
There was laughter at that, and Julian waited for them to settle before continuing.
“When Eleanor first came here, our marriage was an arrangement,” he said. “You all know how it came to be, and how it was entered into for reasons that had little to do with what a marriage ought to be.”
Eleanor’s brother watched him closely, though he did not interrupt. It was not said as a challenge to anyone, of course; it was in the past, and given how it had ended there was nothing to be sad about anymore.
“That has changed,” Julian continued. “Completely. We no longer maintain that arrangement. What exists between us now is not obligation, nor convenience. You may or may not have noticed, but I cannot last ten minutes without searching for my wife, no matter who else is in the room. I am always longing for her, and that is something that I never expected to happen.”
There was a brief pause, and then Anne was the first to respond.
“I had suspected as much,” she said. “There has been no hiding it from any of us. I dare even say that we were aware of this before the two of you were.”
A faint shift of amusement passed through the table at that, easing the moment without diminishing it. Eleanor glanced at Julian briefly, then back to the others.