“He made it clear that what we felt for one another was insignificant,” she explained.
“And you are expected to accept that?”
“I already have accepted it.”
Anne was silent for a moment, as though deciding whether to challenge that.
“Is that the only reason you are leaving?”
Eleanor hesitated briefly, knowing that her friend would think she was being ridiculous. Julian could draw any conclusions he wanted, but she did not want her friend to do so.
“No,” she said. “Mr. Halford arrived this morning.”
“Halford,” she repeated, her eyes suddenly widening. “The same as the other one?”
“The same.”
“What did he want?”
Eleanor did not look away.
“To apologize,” she said. “And to offer something more useful than an apology. He claims he can restore my position in London. He believes that what he did can be corrected, and he has the means to do it.”
Anne was quiet for a moment, absorbing that before speaking again.
“And so you intend to return,” she said. “Not because of him, but because of what he offers.”
“Precisely. I do not care about the gentleman, but if he is offering to mend my reputation then I would be a fool not to accept it.”
Anne studied her carefully, her expression thoughtful rather than reactive.
“And what do you feel about that?” she asked. “Not what you think, not what you have decided, but what you feel.”
Eleanor did not answer immediately. The question lingered longer than the others, not because she did not understand it, but because the answer was not as easily found.
“I feel… I feel that it is the only direction that offers certainty,” she said at last. “London is not kind, but it is predictable. I know what is expected of me there. I know how to exist within it without losing myself in the process.”
“And at home,” Anne said quietly, “you do not.”
“No, I allowed myself to expect something that was never promised.”
“And that is enough to make you leave.”
“It is enough to make me choose differently,” Eleanor replied.
Another pause followed, though this one felt more settled, less urgent. Anne did not press her further, did not attempt to persuade her in one direction or another. She only watched her thoughtfully.
“You have been hurt,” Anne said at last. “And you are choosing a place where you know how to protect yourself.”
“Yes. That is what I would say I am doing.”
“Then I will not tell you not to go,” she said. “But I will tell you this. Certainty is not always the same as safety, and familiarity is not always the same as belonging.”
“I am not looking to belong,” she said. “Not any longer. I will leave here within the next day or two, so that I am not too burdensome.”
“No, you will stay here until you feel ready. I would never cast you out, nor would my family. You know that.”
Eleanor nodded slightly, accepting the offer without resistance.