Page 36 of One-Hit Wonder

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Earlier on? Earlier on? How much earlier could it be than it already was? Ana was feeling strangely out of kilter. It was nine o’clock in the morning. A mere ten hours ago this woman had been off her tits and having sex with two men. And now here she was, up and about, buying bagels, making juice and looking like the neatest, sweetest little PE teacher you could ever hope to meet.

Ana stood for a moment or two, feeling utterly shell-shocked. She hadn’t, had she, imagined last night? Therehadbeen two men in Gill’s bed? Shehadbeen smoking a cigarette? Shehadbeen pissed senseless? Anahadseen her nipple, hadn’t she? Maybe Gill had no recollection of it, maybe she had memory loss? But no – surely not. It was one thing to forget how you got home, but to forget aménage à trois?It simply wasn’t possible.

‘Anyway. I’m off to the gym. I’ll see you later?’

Ana was about to nod, and then suddenly remembered that she wasn’t going to see her later. She told her about Broadstairs.

‘Oh –Flint’sdriving you, is he?’ she said. ‘You’d better keep an eye out for him.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Flint’s a very naughty boy. Don’t let that gentle-hearted-giant act fool you. OK?’

Ana nodded, uncertainly.

‘OK then. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have fun!’ she tinkled, before bounding out of the door with her gym bag.

Ana finished her juice and poured herself another glass. Gill was right. It was delicious. Then she helped herself to a gorgeous warm bagel. It was all gooey with cream cheese and salty with smoked salmon, the crust a perfect chewy shell, the inside soft and glutinous. She wolfed it down and then had another one. Ana could hardly remember the last time food had tasted so good. She pushed open the kitchen door and felt the early sunrays already burning her skin. It was going to be another scorcher.

She took her juice upstairs to her bedroom and started to pack for this peculiar daytrip, panicking as she suddenly realized that she’d run out of knickers and cursing herself as she pulled the little silver camera she’d found in Bee’s suitcase from the bottom of her tartan suitcase.

‘Fuck,’ she muttered to herself. She’d forgotten all about it.

She went to the hallway and phoned Lol.

‘Look,’ said Lol, ‘don’t worry about it. There’s one of those one-hour places at the bottom of your road. Bung it in there now and we can collect it later. There was something I wanted to do before we set off, anyway.’

‘What’s that then?’

‘Never you mind,’ said Lol, ‘we’ll be round in about twenty minutes. Flint’s just got here.’

‘So, what’s this Flint like then?’

‘He’s very tall, he’s very quiet and he’s got a very big car. Let’s leave it at that, shall we? See you soon.’

Ana found the photo shop and also, much to her joy, a pound shop, where she picked up ten pairs of cotton knickers for £5. She was half-way through a third bagel and another glass of Gill’s juice when a horn sounded in the road outside. She grabbed her bag and rushed to the door, and stopped in her tracks when she clapped eyes on the most massive Mercedes she’d ever seen in her life. It was dark blue with tinted windows and a sort of stretched bit in the middle. It was very shiny and disgustingly ostentatious.

Lol unfurled herself from the back, lifting a huge pair of black sunglasses from her nose and grinning at Ana. She had a big sunflower in her hair. ‘Darling,’ she drawled in a mock-posh accent, ‘how are you? You look simply divine. Mwah. Mwah. Do get in.’

Ana threw her bag in first and climbed in after Lol. ‘Oh. Wow. Fuck,’ she exclaimed, looking around her at the mahogany-trimmed interior, the discreet lighting, the buttons and the knobs. ‘Are we really going there in this?’

‘Uh-huh. Better get used to it.’

‘Wow.’ She ran a hand over the soft-leather upholstery. ‘Wow.’

‘That’s three wows, Lennard. Did you get that?’ Lol knocked on the glass partition with a chunky diamond ring. ‘Three wows.Youmight be losing it, but your car can still do it for you.’

‘Ha. Ha. Ha.’

Ana watched as a tinted glass partition slid down and the back of a man’s head was revealed. It was a large square head set on a wide neck and supported by vastshoulders. It was covered in short, thick, dirty-blond hair peppered with a smattering of grey.

‘Flint,’ said Lol, moving closer to the partition, ‘this here is the World Famous Ana. Ana – this here is the – er – well – this is Flint.’

‘Nice to meet you at last,’ said Flint, turning round stiffly to flash a quick smile at Ana. His voice was deep and coarse. And he was beautiful. Ana gulped.

‘Nice to meet you, too.’

‘I’m really, really sorry about Bee,’ he said.