‘What?’
‘Nothing. I just haven’t seen it for a while.’
Somehow the top that was hidden away in the back of Josh’s wardrobe has been laundered and returned to Roan’s drawer.
Roan shrugs. ‘I’m off for a shower,’ he says. ‘What’s for dinner?’
‘Pasta bake,’ says Cate, her voice coming out at an oddly high pitch. ‘And salad.’
47
SAFFYRE
Josh asked me what Harrison John looked like so I did a google for him. My hands shook as I did it. I couldn’t bear to find out anything about him, like that he had a kid, or that he’d done something good, or that he was clever or something. I was so scared that he’d have done something to redeem himself, to dilute my feelings of vengeance, because right then those feelings were the only feelings I really had; they were what got me up in the mornings, got me to school, got me to eat, got me to breathe.
I pressed the search button and held my breath.
And then there he was: his face, the squashed-down nose, the heavy brow, striking some kind of stupid gangster pose.According to the accompanying article, he was part of a community music project; something to do with the college he attended.
I turned the phone to Josh. ‘That’s him.’
‘That’s Harrison?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Looks like a loser.’
‘Right,’ I agreed. ‘So much of a loser.’
We were in the playground outside my block where I’d told Josh to meet me. I was still in my school gear.
When Josh saw me, he’d said, ‘You look so different.’
I’d said, ‘This is my alter ego.’
‘So, what’s your plan?’ Josh said now.
I turned off my phone. ‘Well, I know where he lives now.’
Josh said, ‘How did you do that?’
I tapped my nose. I said, ‘I told you. I’m clever.’
‘Are you going to stalk him too?’
I hit Josh on the arm, playfully. ‘I’m not a stalker!’ I said.
‘You kind of are,’ he replied.
He smiled and I liked his smile. Like when a dog looks at you in that soulful, pure way and you think, You are too, too good for this world. That was what it was like when Joshua Fours smiled. Like he was too good for this world.
‘Anyway,’ I replied, ‘I already started. I followed him to the Co-op and back this afternoon. He didn’t see me.’
‘What did he buy?’
‘Haribo. And some tobacco.’
‘Classy.’