Bellamy has been my person, my constant, as far back as I can remember, and I’m a terrible person for allowing myself to get involved with her father. Speaking of, my phone pings with another message.
* * *
Will: Do I still get to see you all after?
* * *
I should say no. I should tell him that we have to end this, but just thinking about no longer being with him causes me physical and emotional pain. So, instead of doing the right thing, I once again fall into the trap of what my heart wants.
* * *
Me: We’ll be there.
Will: Text me, and I’ll open the garage door.
Me: Okay.
Will: Drive safe.
* * *
It’s literally not even two miles to the back of this massive subdivision they all live in to get to his place, but my belly still flips at his caring words. I was with Ethan for years, and he never once told me to drive safely. Not even when things were new and fresh. We were two young kids who leaped before we looked, and it ended in divorce.
No matter how badly I wanted to be a mother, I’m so glad that it didn’t happen for us. Ethan is my past, and thankfully, he’ll be able to stay there. Someone was looking out for me and for my future with Mia, that’s for sure.
I can’t wait to see Will and be back in his arms. We take full advantage of any time Mia is napping, tearing at each other’s clothes. Then we spend what Will likes to call family time together, too, and he never gets annoyed or angry that I have a one-year-old daughter, which prevents us from being intimate anytime we want.
He’s simply there for both of us, for anything, and that feeling, of knowing that’s where we stand with him, is addicting.
Somehow, two more weeks have passed, and judgment day is here. Well, tomorrow, but close enough. Today is the Rampage’s first preseason game, and it’s at home. The team is off tomorrow, which means Reid and Will are both at home.
Last weekend, Will and I decided that tomorrow would be the day. He’s invited Bellamy, Reid, and Coral to dinner, and Mia and I will be there, as well. We’ve gone back and forth about who tells her, but Will insisted we do it together. He claimed that we’re together, and showing a united front will help. I don’t know if he’s right or not. I know that Bellamy is going to be angry and, most of all, hurt. Keeping this from her was wrong, and I need to make sure she understands that Will wanted to tell her. The thought of damaging their relationship after he fought so hard to get her back into his life is equally as devastating as losing my best friend.
I’ve been a mess all week. Not sleeping, nauseous, unable to eat or hold anything down. It’s my nerves. I’m literally worrying myself sick about how Bellamy is going to take all of this.
Not just Bellamy, but the rest of our friends and Candice, Bellamy’s mom. She was like a second mom to me growing up, and I’m in love with her ex-husband. Somehow, I’ve managed to twist this relationship of ours into a web so tangled, I’m not sure if any of us will make it out unscathed. The thought has my gut churning.
To make matters worse, Will asked Mia and me to go to the game today. Of course, Bellamy and the girls had already invited me to join them in the suite, but he wanted us here. He said it would mean a lot to him to know that all of his girls were here watching his team take the field for the first time this season. He meant Bellamy and Coral, too. That man knows how to melt my heart, but I’ve been sick about this all week.
No matter what happens tomorrow, though, we’ll no longer have to hide how we feel for one another. I can only hope that with time, everyone will understand.
William Warner is the love of my life.
With each day that we spend together, that feeling grows deeper inside my soul. We’re meant to be. I don’t look at him and see my best friend’s dad. I see the man who worries about my daughter and me. A man who wants to take care of us, who’s made room in his busy life for us to have a place next to him. I see my Will, and I hope they can see that, too.
With a deep breath, I push open the door to the suite and wheel the stroller inside. The room is loud with laughter, and the kids are playing.
“There she is!” Sloane calls out.
“We thought you were gonna bail on us,” Eden says.
“Come see Aunt Bellamy,” Bellamy coos as she unstraps Mia from the stroller and moves to the window of the suite to point down at the field below.
I move the stroller to the back corner of the room with the others, grab my phone from the diaper bag, and move to plop down in a seat.
“Rough day?” Corie asks.
“Just tired. I haven’t been sleeping well,” I admit.