“You can’t have a birthday party without gifts,” I tell her.
“Will—” Her voice cracks.
“I know that I’m not her dad, but I love her, too, and I wanted to do this for her.”
“Coach Warner has all the plays,” she teases, wiping a tear from her cheek.
I can’t help but laugh. “Sure, if that’s how you want to see it. To me, I’m just a man, taking care of those he loves.” I let the word fall between us. I’m certain she thinks I’m only referring to Mia. If that’s the case, then she’s wrong, but I don’t push. She smiles softly, but doesn’t comment on my statement.
“All right, Mia, time for more cake,” I tell her.
“You got her a cake, too?” Amanda asks.
“Not really. It’s a giant cupcake, and I got one for us, too.”
“You thought of everything. Will, this is amazing,” she says, coming to stand next to me as I get Mia in her high chair. She just ate, so I’m not sure she’ll want cake, but at least after today’s earlier party, she’ll know what to do.
Grabbing the giant cupcake, I take it out of the container and place it in front of her. Together, Amanda and I sing her “Happy Birthday.” Mia giggles and immediately grabs a handful of cupcake and shoves it into her mouth. Amanda and I cheer her on, celebrating her.
Once she starts to fuss, we clean her up, sit on the floor, just the three of us, and open her presents. Mia laughs, and Amanda smiles, watching her daughter—and maybe me—soak up every moment, while I will the universe to understand that these two ladies are needed in my life. I feel like I don’t breathe easy unless I’m in Amanda’s orbit.
We spend another hour or so playing with Mia, opening her new toys, until Amanda stands and starts cleaning up. I know what’s coming next. She’s going to say she should get home. While I’d give anything to have them stay with me tonight, I know she won’t risk it. We’re chancing so much already.
Once everything is packed up, we carry the toys and leftover cake upstairs, and I help them into Amanda’s SUV. I kiss them both goodbye, feeling as though my heart is leaving my body, before opening the garage door and watching them drive away.
Twenty
Amanda
* * *
I take a minute to make sure I have everything I need for today while Mia plays on the living room floor. I’m surrounded by the quiet chaos only a toddler can create. A stuffed rabbit lies upside down beside her, and she babbles softly to herself. She’s pushing a little wooden block across the rug like it’s the most important job in the world. I watch her for a second longer than necessary, my hand resting on the strap of my bag as I mentally check through everything again—snacks, wipes, an extra outfit, the little blanket she refuses to leave home without.
Will called me about a week ago and asked if we could spend today together—the three of us. The memory of that call still lingers in my mind. His voice had that careful tone to it, almost as if he wasn’t sure what my answer would be. As if there were any chance I’d say no.
Of course, I said yes. I would have said yes to just about anything if it meant spending more time with him.
Last night when we talked, he told me to be ready early, that we had about an hour drive ahead of us. An hour. The thought has been replaying in my mind since he said it. An hour in the car with him, an hour where there’s nowhere else to be, nothing else to do but exist in the same small space together. It feels oddly precious. It’s a luxury we’ve not been able to enjoy.
I have no idea where we’re going, and normally that would bother me. I like plans, details, and knowing what the day holds. But with Will… it’s different. The uncertainty feels lighter somehow, wrapped up in the quiet thrill of simply being included in whatever he has planned. I also know he would never do anything to put my Mia or me in danger. That’s not who he is. His heart is bigger than the entire state of Tennessee. He just hides it from most.
Getting out of town and leaving the same familiar streets of Nashville behind, even for a day, sends excitement coursing through me. No matter where we end up, I’m sure it’ll be a fun-filled day for Mia and us, and that it will be planned meticulously. It must be the coach in him. He always knows the play, even the risky ones—like dating his daughter’s best friend.
Because that’s what we’re doing. We’re dating. I’ve fallen for a man I’m not supposed to want, let alone love, but here I am, falling harder each day. Training camp is about to start, and his time to spend with us will be limited, not to mention having to sneak around. I know that means we need to come clean. I guess we need to just pick a time, but I don’t want to do it during or before training camp. I don’t want him stressed out while trying to work. After… we’ll tell her after camp is over.
Lately, every moment we manage to steal feels rushed and delicate, as if what we’re building between us might slip through my fingers if I’m not careful. I catch myself wanting to stretch those moments out, to make them last longer than they should. An extra conversation. A few more minutes standing beside him. Any excuse not to walk away just yet.
Maybe that’s why this day feels so important before it’s even begun. A whole day together. No rushing, no passing each other in the middle of something else, no worrying that I stared at him for too long, or with too much affection.
Just us.
Mia squeals suddenly, knocking her block tower over with dramatic enthusiasm, and I laugh softly, crouching down beside her. I brush a curl away from her forehead and glance toward the window, half expecting to see Will’s car pulling up already.
The anticipation settles warmly in my chest.
Wherever we’re going doesn’t really matter.
I just know that for today, I get more time with him. No matter how wrong my head tells me it is, my heart tells me that every moment with him is right, and that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.