“It’s not, and you’re doing an incredible job with her, Amanda. Truly, she’s thriving, and I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you. It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” I tell her, voicing my earlier thoughts, “but I love that little girl more than anything. She’s the greatest gift of my life. I’m just not looking forward to the ‘where’s my daddy’ conversations as she gets older.”
“I know right now, your heart is aching, but don’t give up on love.”
I turn to look at her, and she smiles.
“It took me some time, but I found him. I have faith that you will, too. You’re going to find a man who will love that little girl as if she were a part of him. Don’t let your ex keep you from opening your heart again.”
“It’s not just my heart on the line this time.” The thought of my sweet baby girl getting attached to a man, only for him to rip her heart out when he leaves, kills my soul. I won’t let that happen. I won’t bring a man into her life unless I’m sure, but then I remember that I was sure about my ex, Ethan. He was my high school sweetheart, and never in a million lifetimes did I think he would hurt me the way that he did.
I can understand falling out of love. That’s life, and as we grow and change, our hearts do, too, but to cheat? To get his assistant pregnant when he knew how badly we were trying to have a family. That’s a wound that cut deep, and if I’m being honest, I don’t know if it will ever heal.
More than anything, I wish Ethan had been honest with me. Sure, it would still have hurt to lose him. He was my first and only everything, but knowing he cheated, that he didn’t care enough about me to be with someone else, and get her pregnant? He shattered my heart, and I never want that for my daughter.
“Give yourself some time. Just promise me you won’t give up on love.” She smiles and nods toward where Bellamy, Will, Cliff, and our daughters are sitting. “It worked out for Bellamy and me,” she says, leaning her shoulder into mine.
“I promise,” I tell her, even though the thought of giving my heart away again, of having not only my heart broken, but my daughter’s… I can’t stomach the thought.
“Is there anything I can help you do?” I ask Bellamy. Everyone has gone home except for her dad and me. We’re still hanging around, albeit for different reasons.
“Absolutely not. We’ve got this. You go home and get some rest.” She pulls me into a hug. “I’m glad you let us spoil both of you today.”
“And that’s different from any other day, how?” I ask, laughing.
My best friend shrugs. “I’m so proud of you, Amanda, and you’re one hell of a mom, but it’s okay to ask for help.”
“She’s right,” Reid says, wrapping his arms around his wife. “Look at how many times you’ve helped us out with Coral. We’re here if you need us,” he tells me.
“The birthday girl is down for the count,” Will says, walking into the room. “I didn’t even get through half of the book, and she was sound asleep.” He smiles.
“It’s that monotone voice you got going there, Grandpa,” Reid teases.
Will chuckles. “You sure we have to keep him?” he asks his daughter.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Bellamy tilts her head back, and Reid kisses her nose. “He’s kind of grown on me.”
“Fine,” Will says, a playful smile tugging at his lips.
“Thank you for having us, and for helping with Mia today,” I say to Reid and Bellamy. “You, too,” I tell her father, turning my eyes to him.
“She’s a cutie, that one,” Will says, with a kind smile and a nod.
“Well, that cutie needs to get home and get into bed. I’m sure she’ll fall asleep on the way there, and the challenge will be getting her changed and into bed and not waking her up.” I smile down at my daughter, who’s already bundled up in her car seat. “I meant to bring jammies so that part would be done, but I forgot.”
“She’s in leggings and a long-sleeve shirt, just let her sleep in that.” Bellamy shrugs. “Don’t get caught up in needing everything to be perfect, Manda. Life is messy, and she’s safe, warm, fed, and so incredibly loved. It’s not the end of the world if she sleeps in that outfit. It’s soft and comfy.” Bellamy pulls me into a hug. “You’re a great mom. Mia is lucky to have you.”
“Thank you,” I croak, feeling emotions swell in the back of my throat.
“Okay, none of that,” Reid says. “I don’t like it when my wife cries, and as her best friend, I know she won’t let you cry alone,” he says, making us both laugh as we wipe at our eyes.
“I love you both. Thank you again for an incredible day. I can’t believe Coral is two,” I say, bending to grab the diaper bag. Before I can grab the car seat, Will picks it up for me.
“I’m leaving, too,” he explains. “Let me help you ladies out to the car.” With his free hand, he hugs his daughter, shakes Reid’s hand, and follows me out the door.
I rush toward the back passenger door of my SUV and open it. “I can take her,” I say, reaching for the car seat and my daughter.
“I got it. It’s not been that long since Coral was in one of these. I still remember how. Just relax, Momma.” He smiles, and my shoulders fall.