Fuck, this is bad. This is so bad.
“Here you go,” Todd says, handing me my card and the receipt. “You two enjoy the rest of your night.” He keeps his eyes on me as he says it before rushing away.
“Ready?” I ask Amanda. Standing from the booth, I offer her my hand, and without hesitation, she places hers in mine, allowing me to help her out of the booth. She didn’t need the help, but I’m finding, especially tonight, that I’ll take any excuse I can get to touch her.
When she’s standing, I reluctantly let go of her, but that only gives me the excuse to place my palm on the small of her back and lead her out of the restaurant. Outside, the air is cool for an early May evening in Tennessee.
Amanda turns to face me, and I should remove my hand from her back, but I don’t. Instead, I apply a little pressure, moving her closer to me. She steps forward and peers up at me under long lashes.
“Thank you for dinner and the company.”
“Anytime you need a dinner date, you call me,” I tell her. Her eyes widen a little at my use of the word date, but fuck it, that’s what it felt like, and for now, I’m still living in this bubble of “if things were different” that I’ve been floating around in all night. Might as well keep the momentum until I have to say goodbye to her.
“You saved me again,” she says, her lips tilting in a grin.
The wind blows, and her hair slaps against her cheek. With my free hand, I tuck the wayward strands behind her ear. “You don’t need saving,” I say, my voice lower, huskier than just a few moments before.
“What are your plans for the rest of the night?” she asks.
“No plans.”
She bites down on her bottom lip. I don’t know what she wants to say, but I stay patient, letting her work through whatever it is. “Me either,” she finally says. “It’s going to be so weird to go home to a quiet house without Mia.”
“I know you miss her.”
She nods. “I think I’ll watch a movie or something.” She parts her lips, then quickly closes them. When she opens again, she blurts, “Do you want to watch one with me?” She hangs her head as soon as the words leave her lips and stares at my chest, since we’re standing too close for her to be able to see our feet. “Never mind. I’m sorry. I know you’re busy, and you have a life, and just because I’m missing my daughter, you don’t have to appease me. Thank you again for dinner,” she says and tries to pull away, but my hold is firm, not letting her go.
“Is that what you want, Mandy?” Lifting my free hand, I place my index finger beneath her chin and lift so that I can see those pretty green eyes. “You want me to follow you home?”
She swallows hard. “Yes,” she whispers.
“Okay.” Unable to resist the temptation, I press my lips to her forehead. That’s platonic-ish, right? I’m not breaking any rules. “I’ll walk you to your car.” With my hand nestled on the small of her back, as if it belongs there, I guide her to the parking lot to her SUV. “I’ll follow you,” I tell her as she unlocks the door, and I pull it open for her.
She looks up at me, and I know what she’s about to say, and fuck me, but I don’t want her to say it. “I want to,” I assure her. “Neither one of us wants to go home to empty houses just yet. A movie is exactly what we need.”
She nods, and I’m rewarded with a shy smile. “Drive safe,” she says softly.
It’s been a long damn time, too long in fact, since someone other than my daughter has cared enough to say those words to me. I know that’s on me. I don’t let people close, but Amanda, she’s different. This is different, and even more dangerous, but it’s a movie.
What’s the worst that could happen?
She buckles her belt, and I lean down so that we’re eye to eye. “I’ll be right behind you.”
She nods, and I have this sudden urge to press my lips to hers, but I know I can’t. Instead, I stand to my full height, close her door, and stalk off toward my truck.
Once I’m inside, I start the engine and close my eyes, my hands gripping the steering wheel as if my life depends on it. I know I should call her and tell her something came up, but deep down, I don’t want to. Just because I should, I just—I can’t do it.
Tonight, and that’s it. That’s all that I’m allowing myself. One movie, then I’ll go home and get my shit together.
I can’t have Amanda Holton, no matter how bad I want her.
“I’m going to go change,” Amanda says as I follow her into her condo. She reaches down to pick up the remote and hands it to me. “Pick us something,” she says, before turning and rushing up the stairs.
I’m not gonna lie, I watch her ass sway until I can’t see her any longer. Reaching down, I adjust myself because, of course, my body reacts to her. She’s fucking gorgeous. I take a seat on the couch and grab a pillow to place over my lap like a damn teenager and start scrolling through our options. Honestly, I don’t care what we watch. I’m just happy to have more time with her.
Since this is it—this is the last time I let myself indulge like this, unless it’s at the request of her or my daughter—who am I to say no to that? I can hide the fact that I think about her more than I should.
A few minutes later, Amanda comes back downstairs. “Do you want a glass of wine or something else to drink?”