Later that afternoon, I practically danced into the mediator’s office. I was so excited to see Carrie again and to hear what she might have to say to me.
Carrie arrived completely differently. She walked in like she was being led into prison. If possible, she looked even worse than the last time I’d seen her. I was starting to wonder if she was sick. Like, really sick. The thought terrified me, and I was suddenly worried that she had called the meeting to tell me she was dying and the divorce didn’t really matter anyway.
“You okay?” my lawyer asked. “You just went pale as a ghost.”
“Fine,” I lied, rubbing my hands on my pants.
After Mrs. Johnson, the mediator, had welcomed everyone, she asked what the purpose of the meeting was.
Carrie’s lawyer cleared his throat. “There’s been a significant change that could affect some of the terms of the divorce.”
Oh God. Shewasdying. I was going to be sick.
“Carrie, did you want to tell Mr. Caldwell about the development?”
“I guess.” She looked across the table at me. “I don’t know how to say this, but I’m pregnant.”
I blinked. “What?”
“I’m going to have a baby.”
I was completely dumbfounded. I sat there, staring at her with my mouth open.
“Close your mouth, Thatcher,” my lawyer whispered.
I ignored him. “How… how did this happen?”
Carrie turned bright pink. “Thatcher. Seriously?”
“No, no. Obviously I know how it happened, it’s just…” I stopped, also turning pink as the mediator and both lawyers looked at me as if I’d lost it completely.
“I was on antibiotics for a while back in the fall. It can mess with the effects of the birth control pill.” She shrugged. “I’m actually already about to start the second trimester.”
Tears of joy sprang to my eyes. I’d needed some good news desperately, and this was beyond what I could have ever expected. “This is wonderful!”
Carrie sighed. “I’m glad you think so.”
“You’re not happy?” That took some of the wind out of my sails.
“No, I am. It’s just a big mind shift from where I thought I was in my life. I’ve been pretty sick but didn’t put two and two together. Blair did, though, and brought me a pregnancy test.” She turned to the lawyers. “She has five kids.” They all nodded as if that explained it. “I’ve had it confirmed by a doctor. She set the due date for mid-July.”
“Mid-July,” I repeated. I couldn’t hide my smile if I wanted to. Which I didn’t.
“Yes. We need to discuss several things, including how we’ll handle doctor’s appointments before the baby’s born and custody arrangements afterwards.”
“Carrie,” I interrupted. She turned to me, and I noticed the light had gone out of her pretty brown eyes. They looked flat, cold. I had done that to her. I wished I could take it back with all my heart. “Are you sure we can’t try to work this out? Not just for our sakes but for the baby’s as well?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I could never trust you again.”
It felt like a dagger being shoved into my heart, but I totally understood.
“My biggest fear is that your family will try to take my baby away from me,” she said, a tear rolling down her cheek. She bit her lip, trying to hold back her emotion.
It wrecked me that she would be worried about that. “I wouldneverlet that happen. I promise you.”
She locked eyes with me as if trying to gauge whether that meant anything or not. Finally, she nodded.
Her lawyer pushed a paper towards my lawyer, presumably with their proposed custody terms outlined.