What can I say? The human brain is a feeble thing at times, and every rational bone in my body is silenced by the roar of something much more primitive. I’m suddenly plunged into the darkness, held down by a wave of fear so consuming that I can’t find my way to the surface.
And given that split-second choice– fight or flight– my body chooses fight.
‘So did you…’ I start, scrambling to my feet so I at least have the illusion of the upper hand. ‘Did you bring me here to finish the job?’
I don’t even know why I say it. I don’t really believe it. But I’ve come up fighting, and she’s the only one within range.
When my words land, she jolts backwards as if I’ve physically pushed her, her brows knitting in shock. ‘What? No!’ She stands, but I’m already taking a step away. ‘We actually don’t know if that would help. It might do more harm than good.’
The hurt is clear in her voice, and somewhere in the depths of my consciousness, the sound of it cuts deep, but I’m too far gone now.
And when, like the indecisive bastard that I am, my nervous system throws in a last-minute change toflight, I run.
I run like the devil himself is chasing me, and after what’s just happened, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was.
* * *
It’s a little after three when I get back to the flat, my lungs burning and my throat so dry I feel like I’m coughing dust. I flat out sprinted until I was down the 199 steps and crossing the harbour bridge, but I didn’t drop below a jog until I slipped down the alley at the side of Bitten and let myself back into the flat.
I check and double check both doors and every window is locked and then, as the burst of adrenaline finally fades, I starfish facedown onto my bed, still fully clothed, and almost immediately pass out.
That’s how Bram finds me in the morning.
I feel it as a light slap on the back on my calves first, a nagging that half rouses me from a thick, dreamless sleep. Then it’s my name, once, then twice, before I hear him swear loudly and begin the cycle again.
‘What?’I finally manage to rasp out. God, I sound like I’ve been asleep for a hundred years. I roll over onto my side and crack an eye open so I can glare at him.
‘Oh, thank fuck,’ Bram says, swiping his hair back from his face. ‘Emmy thought you were dead.’
Urgh, I feel as if I might be. I haven’t slept that deeply in years. ‘Emmy is… where? What time is it?’
I really need to get a lock for that internal door. I once tried to revoke Bram’s invitation, but it turned out that, as he owns the barandits attached flat, he doesn’t need one.
Vampire loopholes.
‘It’s a little after two,’ I hear Bram say as he strides out of my bedroom, reappearing a few moments later with a glass of water which he shoves towards me. ‘Emmy showed up for her shift twenty minutes ago, and you were nowhere to be found. She came in here, saw you facedown on the bed and then panicked and called me.’
I groan, downing half the glass in a single long gulp. ‘I’m fine.’
He snorts a laugh. ‘You don’t look fine. You look half-dead.’
The night comes back to me in a flashback that feels like a slap around the face.
The abbey. My potential demise.
Florence.
Fuck,Florence. In the cold light of day, I’m beginning to suspect I may have overreacted a little. No, that’s not right, my reaction was probably justified– Ididreceive life-changing news in a haunted abbey– but my behaviour wasn’t the greatest. I was a bit of a dick to Florence.
Ok, fine. I was a massive dick.
I snatch the pillow off the bed and press my fists into it.
‘Maybe I am,’ I say, a shake in my voice I don’t even try to hide. ‘Half-dead, I mean.’
That makes Bram’s expression change. He’ll give me shit for days, but he’s right there when I need him. ‘You good?’ he asks in a low voice. ‘Need the night off?’
I shake my head. ‘I’m ok.’