‘Like we were meant to meet at this moment in our lives?’
He nods. ‘Pretty much.’
‘Perhaps you felt you’d lost something that was irreplaceable but now…’
‘Are you Coldplaying me?’
‘Yes. Sorry.’
‘Okay. How insane are you exactly?’
‘Insane enough. Let’s just leave it at that.’
He puts his hand over mine and pulls a reassuring cross-eyed crazy face. ‘Fine by me.’
I. AM. FLOATING. ON. AIR.
27
Once the excitement at seeing Tyrone in the hotel has worn off, we get to work like we’re planningMission Impossible 27. Ty isn’t entirely pleased that Lois, his fiancée, has gone into theLove on the Islandvilla and is keen to switch me back in.
‘I knew she wanted to go on that show. I knew it,’ he says with a good-natured but exasperated sigh.
‘Believe me, there’s no competition. She loves you unconditionally. She’s obsessed. You have zero worries, Ty. She will not be interested in any of those boys.’
‘And you’ll be able to see her on camera immediately, rather than two days later when the episodes are aired,’ says Cam, setting up his monitors and laptop. He clicks a few buttons, and the villa comes into view from twelve different angles.
‘That’s so cool,’ says Tyrone. ‘Show me Lois.’
Cam zooms in to hear Lois talking to Amber and Mimi. All six Islanders are still loitering by the jeeps and SUVs that brought them back from the haunted mineshaft. They all look dusty and fed up, except Lois.
‘You have the same smile,’ says Cam.
‘Hey, bro, don’t even go there. You want to try living with them. It is so weird at times, especially when for a split second I’m not sure which one is which.’
‘I’m the tidy one. She’s the messy twin. Where’s the problem?’ I joke with Tyrone. I guess he must find it difficult at times. ‘Don’t worry. I will move out eventually, I suppose.’
Tyrone is quick to apologise. ‘Hey, no, Libs. That’s not what I meant. I have no problem with it. If anything, you’re much easier to live with than Lois.’
‘I’m not bossy like she is,’ I say.
‘Or as indecisive,’ he adds. Who could forget Lois’s nightly forty-minute channel surfing to choose what to watch?
‘And while I’m a much better cook, Lois knows how to suture wounds and make slings out of old shirts so…’
‘She’ll make me a great wife,’ he says with a dreamy look in his eye.
Cam is pretending not to listen to us. Which is fine by me because it almost sounds like an interview for me being ideal girlfriend material for him. Although, part of me hopes to have Cam look like that about me some day.
I snap out of the fantasy to concentrate on the screen. Lois is mimicking my every move expertly, and looking like she is enjoying it. ‘So, back to the plan.’ I look at them both. ‘Two things. How do we play Porscha at her own game, so that I can leave the villa on my terms without all the back-stabbing and blackmail? And how do we switch Lois back out tomorrow without anyone seeing?’
‘I’m not a lawyer for nothing,’ Tyrone says. ‘Back-stabbing and blackmail are practically in the job description. Wait. What is happening?’
We watch the screens as the Islanders are herded to stand in front of the firepit. They look bedraggled. And there, sitting round the firepit, are ten very glamorous and attractivenewIslanders. They are grinning away as though they know a secret the others don’t. Destiny springs out from behind the bush with a gleeful pose.
‘Old Islanders, meet the new Islanders!’ she says, laughing. ‘Look at the state of you all.’ She starts laughing hard and encourages the new Islanders to laugh along. I can see runners off camera waving their hands and yelling ‘Laugh harder!’ and ‘Keep it going!’ The old Islanders look confused as hell.
‘Porscha has brought the new Islanders in early to catch them out,’ Cam sighs. ‘Christ, I’m sick of her going behind my back all the time.’