‘Great idea, Libs. Even if you didn’t win, it would put you firmly in the shop window. The US show would cast a wider net for you.’ Tyrone is clearly Team Libby while he searches the contract for a way to keep Lois from having to go on the show. ‘It will give you a more global reach. Cover all bases. Target an expansive range of territories.’
He’s making my potential search for a new mate sound like a difficult product launch. I can feel a panic setting in.
‘Thanks, Tyrone. I’m sure someone on the island will find me attractive.’ My voice is rising a full octave with each sentence, as all my insecurities about life, where I’m going and what I’m doing bubble to the surface. I have as much sex appeal as a rotting banana. Maybe Josh was right. I haven’t got what it takes to be sexy and adventurous. I’m a joyless husk. They’ll see right through me.
‘No, I just meant… in case you don’t… These women have a certain style that…’ Tyrone looks like a man at a tribunal hearing who is about to choose his words very carefully. He looks from my sister to me and back again. My sister and I are practically identical. He has to be complimentary without being too complimentary. He will be forever caught between a rock and a hard place. He can’t find us both sexy. Nor can he say that we’re not. It’s almost painful to watch.
All of a sudden, the exhaustion of losing my job and my boyfriend in the same day sweeps through me. ‘No worries. Forget it. It was just a stupid thought. They won’t force you to go on the show, sis. They’d have to prise you from my dead arms. I’m off to bed. See you in the morning.’
Lois jumps up to hug me. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sure once you sleep on it, you’ll realise it’s not a good idea.’ She holds me at arm’s length. ‘Someone deserving will come along when you least expect it and sweep you right off your feet.’
Her phone suddenly bursts to life, startling us all. A face is video-calling her. A man’s face. Lois takes a look, her eyes wide. ‘Oh my God. It’s them! It’sLove on the Island. What will I do?’
‘Simple. You accept the call and explain that you aren’t going to do the show,’ says Tyrone, firmly handing her the phone as it continues to trill.
We’re all looking at each other as though we’re playing tennis with our eyeballs while we wait for Lois to move. It looks as though her body has frozen in time. Her eyes flick to mine. And before I quite know what I’m doing, I grab the phone from her and, in one swift movement, I release my hair from its bun and glide over to the fireplace so he can’t see Lois or Tyrone in the background, and press accept.
‘Hello. Thanks for calling,’ I say with a smile, as I make what could be the worst decision of my life.
3
I sit down slowly in the pretty armchair next to the fire. Rows of books are crammed into the white shelving in the nook behind me, and a charming Edwardian sash window provides a flattering glow from the street lamp outside as I hold Lois’s phone in front of me.
‘Hi there, it’s Cam. Cameron, one of the producers from LoveIt TV,’ he says, giving me a friendly, reassuring smile.
As if this wasn’t already daunting enough to get my head around, I squint to get a clearer picture. I am looking at the most attractive man I have ever seen in my entire life. He sweeps soft brown hair from his forehead as though to give me a clearer view of his incredible blue-green eyes. His smile is lighting up his entire face and drawing me in.
He’s American. An actual American TV producer.
What am I doing?
‘We spoke briefly last summer during your VT.’
I stare blankly at him.
‘Your video audition?’
‘Yes, my, erm, my video audition.’ Cameron is a genetically superior and well-sculptured member of the species. And I would have gone completely to pieces had I auditioned. Rather like I am doing right now.
How did Lois not reveal this one tiny but significant detail?
He holds my gaze as though he is used to women turning beetroot red and severely mute in his presence, and carries on. ‘I’m calling to go over the schedules and confirm the press releases that need to be carried out before you fly out to us.’
I stare at the screen nodding, my hand trembling slightly as I lift it up to capture a more becoming angle, less nostril and more forehead. Tyrone and Lois are gesturing wildly for me to end the conversation.
I should say something.
He waits patiently for me to respond.
I should explain that I’m Lois’s near-identical twin sister and I’m about to fraudulently pass myself off as her, all so that I can get off with somebody, anybody, just to make my very recent ex-boyfriend jealous in order to boost my low (almost minus level) self-esteem. I’d also quite like to win the hundred grand prize pot to help pay my bills until I find my next job. And a summer away from home so that Lois can spend some well-earned alone time with her lovely fiancé, instead of being dragged through the courts by Cam’s TV company, would be the perfect way to repay her for everything she does for me.
Reasons to do the show are sounding more convincing by the second. ‘Fly out to you? To the island?’ I manage.
He is heart-stoppingly gorgeous. And that accent! He sounds like a film star.
‘Yes, that’s correct.’
‘Which island would that be?’ Images of me surrounded by a tropical paradise, drinking from coconuts and bathing in waterfalls, far, far from any piles of marking, swim pleasingly into my mind, causing pangs of excitement.