‘No. No, I haven’t.’
‘Oh.’
There’s a silence hanging in the air that needs to be filled with more lies.
‘Or I could go on one of those environmental boat trips clearing up plastics from the ocean. Rescue dolphins. Save some turtles.’ In a panic I do namaste hands and bow my head. It is wildly inappropriate. ‘Those sorts of things, really.’
He stares at me to see if I’m serious. He has no idea.
I will leave him wondering. Best he sees me as a kind soul, a touch benevolent and mystical, especially after the way he caught me yelling at my chaperone to choke on her own vomit.
‘And you? What do you do when you’re not working on this show? Do you go back to… the capital of California, LA? The city of angels.’
It’s very apt because he has very angelic eyes. They are kind and expressive, with fine crinkles at the sides when he smiles, which is a lot. Despite the Year Three project, my geography of the USA is appalling. But everyone the world over knows LA is where all the good-looking people go. I pour us both a hefty measure of wine, filling the glass right to the brim.
‘I think you’ll find Sacramento is the capital of California.’ He raises his eyebrows playfully at me. ‘I’m mostly in San Francisco.’
Capital cities are very cool and interesting, and more importantly a very safe topic of conversation. And yet…
I take another swig of wine. ‘It must be hard to work away from home and leave family behind.’
He shrugs.
‘Are you leaving a trail of broken hearts in San Francisco?’ I joke.
I’m getting very personal, very quickly, and making a lot of assumptions, but mining for personal information as to his single status is becoming something of a drug to me after two glasses of wine and a few days of barely eating.
‘The shoot only takes around ten weeks in total. Eight of those just to set up. I thought you’d know that. As a superfan.’
‘Superfan?’
‘Yep. The show’s number one superfan is what you told me in your interview,’ he says, smiling. ‘Although, that’s what they all say.’
Trust Lois. She is obsessed with the show. She would know all there is to know. ‘Oh, yeah. I’m a total superfan. So, back to this trail of broken hearts…’
Cam laughs and gingerly picks up his wine to slurp carefully at it. ‘I don’t usually drink.’
‘Me neither,’ I say, knocking the rest back and topping myself up.
This causes Cam to half choke on his drink. ‘I like you. You’re different to the usual contestants. You seem very laid-back about it all.’
‘That’s because…’ I search for a plausible reason as I stare into his gorgeous eyes. ‘That’s because I’m really looking forward to the personal challenge rather than becoming world-famous.’
He looks unconvinced.
‘And I’m hoping to find my soulmate while I’m here.’
A vision pops into my mind of me in a white floaty chiffon. Him in rolled-up white trousers and a loose linen shirt open to the stomach. The pair of us standing hand in hand on white powdered sand while locals shower us in bright pink flower petals. Now, because I’ve come this far, it’s like I’m obsessed but, thankfully, the film reel running in my mind is not playing out on my face.
Cam pretends to look serious. ‘Oh yeah, for sure. For sure. Out of the four billion men on the planet, he’ll definitely be one of the five we managed to pick out.’
He’s funny.
‘And the trail of broken hearts?’
Christ, I’m like a Rottweiler but I can’t seem to let it go.
Cam puts down his fork to look at me. ‘There are no broken hearts. Only this one.’ He points to himself.