Prologue
The Lifespan of a Firefly
Maverick
Lying in the dampened grass, I let my emotions get the better of me. The setting sun sends twilight dancing around the quiet cemetery as I allow myself to concentrate on my slow breathing.
Breathe in.
Hold.
Breathe out.
Repeat.
Enjoy the stillness.
“I miss you,” I whispered into the dew-soaked evening air.
My hand rested on the cool stone of Leilani’s grave marker while tears stained my face. I didn’t come out to see her as often as I used to, but with her, I found my peace. Talking to her, telling her about the first half of the tour we had just gotten back from helped center the pain and sorrow that weighed me down.
“You were the greatest first love a man could have ever had,” I declared for the hundredth, maybe thousandth, time. I knew I was talking to a ghost, still in love with the woman I had lost years before.
Sitting up, I grabbed the acoustic guitar I had brought along with me. Choking up, I let Dane’s lyrics pour from my heart as I sang to Leilani like I did every time I went there. In life, she had been the light in so much darkness, and Dane captured it perfectly in the lyrics to the first song he had written for our band, The Hysterics.
It’s a dull kind of pain that just sits in my heart and weighs me down
And you’re the only one who can fix it
It burns and erupts at the worst times
Stinging old wounds that have already been licked clean
Right when headway is made, the darkness crashes again
Closing in on my starlight
Little flicks of magic extinguished one by one
The firefly’s lifespan gets tested over and over
Thankfully, she is inked into existencefor all eternity
Staringdown at my forearm as I strummed and sang, I took comfort in The Hysterics logo I had gotten tattooed onto my flesh when I was barely old enough to get it: a firefly. It was our subtle tribute to the girl who’d consecrated us as more than just a band; we were a family.
My eyes clouded with the tears welling up as the song ended. Years had passed, and my life was incredible, but I was empty. Leilani was the beginning and ending for the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. Fame was nice, touring was unbelievable, and becoming a rock star was unreal, but none of it mattered because I wasn’t sharing it with her.
The closest I had gotten to that feeling again was seeing Cali at a gig in Tampa a while back. She was a fan who’d turned into so much more than that one night after that show. I knew my lifestyle wasn’t one she was ready to handle, and I let her go before either of us got in too deep. We stayed friends through emails and texts as much as we could. I followed her lead and never pushed for more, even though I was begging for it in silence. I needed to feel real again, and Cali was the only one who ever brought me close to that long-sought-after feeling.
With a heavy sigh, I said goodbye to my love once more, bending down to kiss the marble that had her name engraved in it. The tour was picking back up the next morning and I knew I needed to get my head back in the game.
“Maverick?” a sweet voice called from behind me.
As I whipped around, I was met by bright blue eyes I felt like I hadn’t gazed into in a lifetime.
“Cali? What are you doing here?” I took a few steps closer to her as she stood like a mirage in the deserted graveyard.
“Rodney told me I might be able to find you here. I was wrong for telling you I didn’t want this…us.” Her arms crossed as her head fell.