Chapter 6
Failing Tests
“Who wants pizza?” I asked the group as they all sat in the living room. Leilani was still holed up in the bathroom, and going on a food run was the only cover I could think of to get Julie and me out of the house without getting the third degree.
“Fuck yeah. Rocking that hard really works up an appetite.” Rodney was rubbing his belly while laughing.
“Jules, order it up and we can head out to grab it.”
“On it!” My sister ducked into the kitchen to order a couple of pizzas as I awkwardly stood halfway in the living room, trying to be as close to the front door as humanly possible. Freaked the fuck out was the biggest understatement of the century. What if I was right? Fuck, I didn’t want to be right. I wanted it to be a terrible dream. Cloud nine had crashed and burned into a freak-out I had to pretend wasn’t happening.
“You okay, man? You look pale as shit.” Dane shoved up from the couch to check on me.
“Yeah. Totally great. Seeing Leilani puke kind of made my stomach turn a little, but that’s how it goes when a chick is blowing chunks in front of you. I’ll grab her some Pepto or something on the way to the pizza place.”
“Thanks. You’re a good friend.”
“I try to be.”
“Ready?” Julie asked, grabbing her purse.
“Yep.” I reached for my car keys on the hook by the door and couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
We sat in silence as I drove.
“Do you want me to go in with you?” I asked, pulling into a spot right in front of the drugstore.
“No way do I want to buy a pregnancy test with my brother.”
“Grab some Pepto-Bismol, too.”
“You got it.”
Waiting in the car was the worst. Every station on the radio was playing crappy music, and my mind wouldn’t quiet down. I was driving myself insane thinking about all the worst-case scenarios.
Dane would kill me.
My mom would never stop crying.
My dad would never stop giving me depressed, disappointed looks.
Leilani would be freaked.
My life would be over before it really started.
Leilani’s mom would go on another one of her month-long benders to cope.
Then I let myself think about how great it could actually turn out. What if everyone was supportive? What if everyone took the high road and just skipped the awful parts and went straight to being happy about it?
My family was stable. Yeah, it wasn’t ideal, but Leilani and I would be able to figure it out, and she would be an incredible mom. I would be able to figure out the school and work thing. I would make sure she was able to see her dreams come true no matter what the outcome was.
When Jules got back in the car, I had built myself a nice little fantasy of a perfect life with Leilani and our little bundle of joy.
“Why the fuck are you smiling?” Julie asked as she buckled her seatbelt.
“What if she’s actually pregnant? It would be pretty cool to be a dad.” The words hit the air and I realized how crazy they sounded. I was about to turn seventeen. Leilani was barely fifteen. Her home life was shit. My parents would freak out. I spiraled right back into the doomsday crap in three seconds flat.
“You have got to be kidding me. You have actually lost it, haven’t you?”