“Did you really just call me easy? Hello kettle, meet pot.” I crossed my arms, leaning against the counter next to my one-night stand turned teacher.
“I got you to take me home after about an hour of talking, so yes, you were easy. I was horny, and you seemed like a nice enough guy.” Kelly rolled her eyes when I neglected to respond, at a loss for words. “Look, women have needs that have to be satiated just like men, and sometimes one-night stands are the chick’s idea. At least I didn’t chat you up all night, run up the bar tab, and then not put out—then you might have been used. I paid for all of my drinks that night and then we had some adult fun. Don’t hate the player.”
“Do women really think this way?” I hadn’t been single in over a decade, and apparently the rules had changed dramatically.
Kelly shrugged. “I think most women are just scared to admit it.”
“Holy fuck.” I didn’t know what to think, but I knew the dating world had turned more intimidating than I’d thought imaginable.
“Here.” She handed me her card. “I should have left it the other morning.”
“Is this a pity number?” I thumbed the card in my hand.
“I do think you’re going to need extra tutoring after that donut display but, no, it’s not a pity number. I’d like to see you again.”
“There’s an open mic night tonight at Mountain Breath.”
“Don’t tempt me with a good time.”
“Pick you up around six?”
“You’re getting better at this whole dating thing. I’ll meet you there. I have to run and catch up on the work I missed teaching your sorry ass how to burn a donut.” She playfully shoved my shoulder.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
“One hint: text me when you’re on your way to the bar.”
* * *
Me:Leaving my place now.
Kelly: Jack?
Me: Have multiple dates scheduled for tonight?
Kelly: Just making sure I didn’t double-book myself. See you soon.
I couldn’t believe how anxious I was. Kelly was willing to hang out with me after I had already embarrassed myself in front of her at least twice and licked her to the point of orgasming so the hard part was over, but still, I felt shaky.
I got to the bar at the perfect time, snagging a table right in front of the stage.
Me: At a table close to the stage.
Kelly: About ten minutes away.
Marty came around to my table. “Seeing a lot of you lately.”
I shrugged. “Open mic night, for old time’s sake.”
“Old fashioned?”
I nodded. “And a Manhattan.”
“Should I put extra cherries in it?” Marty winked at me as I laughed.
“I don’t know how you have as good of a memory as you do.”
“Years of practice.”