“You knew?” I looked over to her as Raine took a seat onmylap.
“We all did, Mr. President. Does that mean I am finally the first lady?” Raineteased.
Crickett smiled sweetly over to her. “Honey, you can be the first lady all you damn well please, I am still queen bitch in theseparts.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Raine rolled her eyes at her stepmom before stealing my Fun Dip right out ofmyhand.
“Hey, get your own.” I tried to snatch it from her grasp but she was too quickforme.
“You don’t even like this stuff. Besides, you should know better than to take candy from a pregnant woman.” She stuck her blue tongue out at me and we all startedlaughing.
“Is there any more in there?” Crickett leaned onto the desk as Holt searched through the drawer, pulling out a packet for her along with alegalpad.
“What’s that?” Collin asked, trying to get a peek at what was scribbled onthepage.
Holt cleared his throat. “Son, why don’t you read this out loudforus.”
I took the notepad from him and about near fell out of my chair. “I don’t know ifIcan.”
“What is it, Ryder?” Raine tried to look, but I turned it awayfromher.
“I got this.” I took in a deep breath, reading the last thing Abel probably ever wrote inhislife.
To mygrandbaby,
I don’t even know if you’re a girl or a boy yet. I have no idea what your name will be or when your birthdate is going to come, but I do know this one simple fact: I love you more than life. I love you more than myself, my bike, my club, or anything else on this planet. I know you’ll probably have your mom’s nose and your dad’s eyes. You’ll most likely be as stubborn as I am and as kind as your grandma is. I don’t know if you’re going to be good at sports or enjoy the wide-open roads, if you’ll adore school or drop out like I did right when I turned sixteen. I don’t even know when you will read this letter…I guess I should have thought about that before even starting it. All I know is that today I found out that my precious daughter is going to be your mom. I know she’s going to be the best mother in the world, and Ryder, your daddy, is one hell of a man. I know Crickett is going to spoil you rotten and Collin is going to show you all the fun hiding places in the house because he was the master of hide and seek. Eventually, there may come a day where your loyalties and faith will be tested. Just remember that your family will always help guide you when you feel like your compass is leading you astray. We will stand behind you without judgement or question, without fear or regret, because that’s what family does and that is what we will always do. We love without boundaries and fight for what we believe in. So, I guess what I am trying to get at here is that you are stronger than you know, braver than you think, and loved more than words canexpress.
Always,Grandpa
I barely got through the letter, fighting my tears the whole time. I didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought; I started balling my damn eyes out when I finished. Raine threw her arms aroundmyneck.
“Thank you for reading that,” she whispered intomyear.
“Fuck, he was just the most amazing fucking man.” Collin was ablubberingmess.
“That he was.” My dad passed the whiskey bottle over toCollin.
“Do you remember that time Collin decided to hide in the storm cellar?” Raine askedCricket.
“How could I ever forget that night? Abel thought he had up and vanished into thin air. It took us four hours to find you”—she pointed her finger at her son with a reprimanding tone in her voice—“and you were just sleeping away in the cellar, sucking your thumb in the backcorner.”
“You heard Dad’s words—I am the hide and seekmaster!”
We sat and talked for a few more hours, telling funny stories and remembering the good times we’d all had with AbelHellock.
In that small room, with the four people that meant the most to me in the world, we started to heal our broken pieces back together. It was going to take time and I knew the road was going to be rougher than I cared to admit, but at least one small part of me was put back into its place right there in that cramped office, getting drunk off of Abel’s last bottle of Old Crow, all of us with bright bluetongues.
Chapter10
Raine
Just about six and a half monthslater
Heaving up from the couch,I waddled my way into the kitchen. Ryder and I were finally living in our house full time. Even though it had been nice being with Crickett and Collin in our old home, the farmhouse was the last gift my father ever gave to me and it just didn’t seem right to notuseit.
Ryder trotted down the stairs, his toothbrush still in his mouth. “Hey babe?” he slurred with white foam bubbling up at the corners of hismouth.
“Yes?” Iresponded.