Oh, holy hell!
I started to shake and Lisa put her hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you head home and get some rest. I will call you in the morning to check on you. Don’t worry about missing today, your health is too important.”
“Thank you,” I muttered, splashing a little more water onto my cheeks.
Checking my phone as I made my way out of the studio and into the chilly fall New York air, I saw a text from Chase and my heart start racing.
Chase: Hope you’re having a wonderful day, babe.
Me: Not feeling that great actually. I am heading home to rest a bit.
Chase: Oh no, baby. What’s wrong?
Me: Just a little upset stomach. Nothing to worry about, love.
Chase: You know I am going to worry. Keep me posted. I will check on you later. Feel better.
Me: Thanks. Love you.
Chase: And I love you.
* * *
Sittingon the floor of the bathroom, I stared down at the two bright pink lines confirming my worst fear.How can this be happening?
My career was over. Everything I had worked for my entire life would be thrown away because I broke my one rule, the only rule I had ever had—to stay away from guys. How could I have let myself get into this mess? How was I going to tell Chase?
Crap! Chase!
I hadn’t even thought about that conversation until that very second, sitting alone in his apartment’s bathroom like a fool. He was going to be home in the morning, and I needed more time than that to figure all of this out.
How was he going to take the news?
I jumped to my feet, staring at myself in the mirror. I took a few deep breaths and then stated out loud, “No matter what Chase wants, I am keeping my baby.” Wrapping my arms around my stomach, I knew that no matter what, I was going to have to make the best of this. I would figure it out. Dancers have families. It can be done, and it would be done. This little nugget inside me was going to change my life for the better, as long as that was how I pictured it.
“My career does not have to be over,” I bellowed firmly. Maybe if I didn’t want to stay with the New York City Ballet, I could teach. That was a good option, probably with way more flexible hours and everything, which would make it easier when Chase was gone on away games.
I started to make myself feel better with every passing thought. “I will be an amazing mother, just like my mother was.”
That thought hit me like a ton of bricks. Telling Chase was one thing, but telling my mother was another. She was such an amazing single mom, but she wanted more for me and my dreams. I knew this news was going to be all too bittersweet for her.
“That is going to have to wait until after I tell Chase,” I muttered to myself, then the lightbulb went off—I knew exactly how I was going to tell him.
After popping a few more Tums to settle my stomach, I grabbed my jacket and keys and was out the door. I made my way to The Bookstop and was greeted unenthusiastically by the same girl who was there the first day Chase and I met.
“Can I help you find something?” Staci asked, not even looking up from an old copy ofAlice in Wonderland.
“Actually, yes. I’m looking for something very specific.” The smell of coffee and books was the perfect aroma to take my mind off my predicament and my brand-new affinity for getting sick to my stomach from any stench.
Her eyebrow rose as she set her book down. “And what is that?”
“I need a first edition ofAnd Then There Were None, if you have it.”
With a huff and an eye roll, the ruder-than-life store clerk started typing on her computer. After a few minutes, she came around from the back of the counter. “We don’t have a first edition, but I do have a paperback of the 75th anniversary edition. Would that work?”
“I will take what I can get.” I bounced on my heels. This was going to be the best ever. There would be no way Chase wouldn’t be excited about our baby.
I paid for the book, got a green tea latte to go, and had started to head home when my phone started ringing in my pocket.