I can see him thinking it through, and though I can’t know exactly what makes him do it, he takes it. He slides his palm against mine and even squeezes a little bit.
Years of learning how to control my facial expressions go out the window—I wouldn’t suppress my big-ass smile even if I could.
Noah takes his time inspecting the shelves. He reaches for a few books, but puts them back after reverently looking at the cover and first few pages.
I let him wander. There’s no need at all to hurry, and he looks so peaceful. I know there’s little else I’d rather be doing.
I know I’ll have to saysomething, though, when he finally loops back to the sitting area by the south-facing windows.
“I know it’s not as grand as the one at Ru’s estate, but it’s what I’ve been collecting since I first moved here after uni.” His head tilts slightly to the side, those doe eyes compelling me to explain something that isn’t necessary. “I moved here with nothing but my trust fund, which I know is a lot more than nothing,” I assure him. “But every item I might’ve wanted to borrow from my family’s own home wasn’t available to me.”
I finally clamp my mouth shut after that, even if it’s hard, even though it gets potentially harder the longer Noah stays silent.
“You’re not comfortable talking about... any of that,” he surmises correctly.
Inside me, it finally clicks. This is what I need to deal with before I can even begin thinking about an autobiography.
For now all I can do is sigh.
“Yeah,” I add, a bit helplessly. “It’s not only that I know how uncommon my life growing up was. It’s also the fact that there’s a lot I don’t want to share, and a lot that would annoy certain people enough to come back into my life when they’re not welcome.”
Noah nods along, and when I’m done, he slowly lifts his hand to pat my arm softly, and strokes comfortingly.
“I’m sorry. You’re right that your story is probably not something a lot of people can relate to. Not as a whole, but there are lessons in everything. And if you want, I can help you find those, and build something that won’t cross any of your boundaries.”
It feels like he means more than the book, more than my story.
But what?
He’s the one who turned me away.
He’s the one who set the boundaries.
I nod, done with the day all of a sudden and more than ready to have time and space to think about all of this rationally, every aspect, assess every decision and move Noah has made.
I need to figure out what he wants.
“Thank you. Let me show you to your room,” I say without preamble, and maybe a little bit rudely.
It’s fine, though, because tomorrow morning, we’ll once more have the buffer of my friends. We’ll go for a long walk as a group, and maybe by then I’ll know how to speak to Noah again.
But things rarely go as planned in matters of the heart—I really should’ve learned this lesson by now.
I don’t know if I want to curse or thank the universe when I wake up the next day to the news that Tristan, Gab, and Harrison left in the early hours of the morning... the assholes.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Noah
I wakeup cushioned by the fluffiest pillows I’ve ever known and it takes a few minutes for me to remember where I am.
Chase’s castle.
I’m lying in an actual four-poster bed. An antique, not reproduction, though the drapes at each side look like they could be newer. The room beyond is large, so big I could almost fit my whole flat in it. It has windows on two sides, and the curtains are drawn but there’s enough of the morning light for me to be able to see. The furniture is old, a dark wood with decorative inlays, and there’s an ornate rug covering most of the floor. It’s a beautiful room, but I feel so . . . out of place in it.
My stomach swirls with embarrassment that I actually went through with my ridiculous plan yesterday. I mean, who drives into a different county just on the chance that they could become an agent for someone. I’ve never shied away fromdoing what I need to do, even if it scares the hell out of me, but this? This is notnormal.
Okay, so Chase is handsome, fun, has an appreciation for history and preserving it, is uber rich, and has gorgeous eyes, which crinkle at the corners when he smiles, that I can’t look away from. I shove those thoughts aside because I’m sure they had absolutely no bearing on me coming here.