I glance around nervously. “Not here.”
“No one can hear us.” His foot slides against my ankle under the table. “I’ve been thinking about last night. How you looked when I was riding you.”
Despite my anxiety, my cock stirs. “Theo, seriously?—”
“Or maybe,” he continues, “you’d rather I showed you what I can do with my tongue again. The way you moaned when I?—”
“Enough,” I snap, louder than intended. A woman at the next table glances over. I lower my voice. “We’re being watched.”
Theo sighs, his playfulness disappearing. “By who? The elderly couple sharing tiramisu? The businesswoman on her laptop? Victor, not everyone is out to get you.”
I flag down the waiter. “Check, please.”
In the cab, Theo sits with deliberate space between us. The silence stretches until he finally says, “I can’t do this anymore.”
My pulse spikes. “What?”
“This paranoia. Looking over your shoulder constantly. Introducing me as yourfriendafter everything we’ve been through.” He turns to face me. “I can’t continue if you’re going to be on edge every time we’re in public.”
Panic floods my chest. After everything—the gym, my fighters, what we shared in the ring—is it all going to fall apart because I can’t get my shit together?
“Theo, I just need time?—”
“You’ve had time. Ten months, Victor. And I’ve been patient.” He rubs his temples. “I’m not asking for a billboard announcement. Just... stop acting like being seen with me is the end of the world.”
The thought of losing him makes my throat close. I can’t go back to life without him. I won’t.
The cab ride passes in tense silence. Theo stares out the window, his profile outlined by passing streetlights. My hands keep clenching and unclenching on my knees. I want to reach for him, but something stops me—the same fear that’s been stopping me from the beginning.
At my building, we ride the elevator without speaking. The mechanical hum fills the space between us. I unlock my apartment door, letting him enter first. He walks in withthe familiarity of someone who’s been here dozens of times, dropping his keys in the dish by the door, slipping off his shoes.
I watch him move through my space, terrified this might be the last time.
Theo turns to face me, leaning against the kitchen counter. His eyes hold mine, exhaustion written across his features.
“I want to be with you,” he says finally, voice soft but firm. “But I can’t keep being your dirty secret.”
The words land heavily. I move closer, needing him to understand.
“It’s not about shame,” I say, the realization crystallizing as I speak. “It’s about control. I want to come out on MY terms, not Dawson’s.”
Theo’s eyes widen slightly, his body straightening.
“Come out?” he repeats, something like hope flickering across his face. “You’re considering actually coming out?”
I nod, surprised by how right it feels to say it aloud. “Yeah. I am.”
He studies me carefully, as if searching for any trace of bullshit. “When will that be?”
I swallow hard, knowing he deserves better than vague promises. “Soon,” I say.
Theo doesn’t look convinced. His shoulders slump slightly, and he exhales a long breath.
“Soon,” he repeats, the word hollow. “I’ve heard that before, Victor. I can’t keep waiting forsoonto arrive. I can’t keep putting my life on hold while you figure out if I’m worth the risk.”
The thought of him walking away knocks the air from my lungs. Before I can stop myself, I cross the distance between us, taking his face in my hands. His skin is warm against my palms, his dark eyes searching mine with cautious hope.
“Listen to me,” I say, my voice rougher than intended. “I know I’ve given you reasons to doubt me. I know I’ve been a coward.”