I wasn’t sure I could trust either of them.
By the time I’d been served and returned to the table, I was calm. My cool, confident mask was back in place. “Went for whisky again.”
“Can’t go wrong.” Max nodded in thanks.
“So you were jealous of me because you thought Mum and Dad preferred me,” I said abruptly, taking control of the conversation. “Is that why you replaced me with Dominic?”
He blinked at me before slowly lowering his glass. “Is that how you saw it?”
My nostrils flared. “How else was I meant to see it, Max? We went from doing everything together to you doing everything withhim. Worse, when I tried to tag along, the two of you refused to include me.”
“Fuck.” Max rubbed the back of his neck again. “I know us being young idiots can only justify so much, but honestly? I didn’t want to share him.”
“He’s not a toy.”
“I know that, but…” Max exhaled in frustration. “I’d never had a friend of my own before. Someone who was justmine. Surely you must’ve understood that?”
“Maybe I would’ve if I’d actually made any friends of my own.”
Max ducked his head in shame. “About that… Ry, I’m sorry. I didn’t know how bad everything got. I was so caught up in my own bullshit, blinded by my own prejudices, that I completely missed what you were going through.”
I stiffened. “What are you talking about?”
“Dominic told me everything,” Max said.
My heart fell through my stomach. He had? I thought he’d said Max had guessed the truth.
Was he still lying to me?
“Shit, not about that,” Max said urgently. I wasn’t sure what expression he saw on my face, but it was enough to have his eyes widening in panic. “Ryan, he never told me anything about the two of you other than that you kissed after Amy’s party and were together. That’s it, I swear.”
I tapped my fingers on the table. “Then how did you know we slept together at the festival?”
“It was pretty obvious.” Max sighed. “The two of you could barely keep your hands off each other. You were normally pretty nauseating to be around, but that weekend took it to whole new heights. I knew that you’d…you know.”
“Why did you lie to me? Why did you make me think Dom had told you everything?”
“Honestly? Because I was a prick. A self-absorbed, narcissistic little prick.”
I choked on a sip of whisky. Whatever I’d been expecting Max to say, it hadn’t been that. “What?”
“I was a prick,” he repeated. “There’s really not a lot more to it. Dominic and I had our plans. For one last summer together before setting out on our grand adventure. Then, suddenly, you were everywhere. I had to go from being the centre of his world to someone who was just on the sidelines. He’d been the one thing that was just mine, you know? The one person who was in my corner. But then he was all about you. Protecting you. Makingyouhappy. Just like everyone else in our life.”
My rage was almost palpable, but I managed to keep my voice steady. “That’s not how I remember it.”
“I know.” The corners of Max’s mouth turned down. “Dominic has…corrected my assumptions over the years. Told me about the bullying too, which is what I was on about earlier. That alone has me fucking hating myself, but the rest… Fuck, Ryan. You’ll never know how sorry I am. I’m just trying to explain where I was coming from at the time. I know it was the wrong place, but I can’t change what I did. I can only explain and apologise.”
“And that was enough of a reason to break my heart?” I demanded hotly. “For you to take the person I was in love with away from me? In, might I add, the cruellest way you could manage?”
“I’m sorry.” He blinked away tears. “I thought it was a good enough reason back then, but like I said, I know better now. There’s no excusing what I did. Believe me, I regret it more than anything else. I hurt the two people I loved the most.”
Of everything he’d said, that threw me the most. “You loved me?”
“Course I did.” Max frowned. “Just because I was a grade A twat didn’t stop me loving you. I just got…blinded by my own wants and beliefs. I became obsessed with the fact that I was losing Dominic to you. The one I thought had everything.”
“I never forced Dom to choose between us,” I said quietly. “In fact, I encouraged him to spend time with you.”
Max swallowed more of the amber liquid. “Like I said, you’re the better of two of us.”