Assuming Ryan let me stay in his life long enough for that to happen.
Putting Xander’s case against the wall, I opened a window to let in some air. “Can I do anything else to help?”
From the corner of my eye, I spotted Ryan studying me quizzically.
“Nah, I’m good, man.” Xander dropped his bag on the bed and eyed the sheets. “Please tell me you changed these after sleeping in here.”
I scratched my head. “I haven’t slept in here?”
My confusion had me framing it like a question. Xander turned to frown at Ryan. “I thought you said he stayed here while you were sick.”
I felt my cheeks heat as Ryan blinked slowly, coming to the obvious realisation. “He did…but he slept on the chair in my room.”
Xander raised a brow at me. “That tiny fucking thing he’s had since uni? Why’d you do that when he has a perfectly good spare room?”
This wasn’t a conversation I really wanted to have in front of Xander, but part of our problem last time had been hiding what we were, what we meant to each other. I wasn’t going to do that this time, even if it involved doing something I wasn’t used to.
Being vulnerable in front of others.
“I didn’t want to leave you,” I said hoarsely, only addressing Ryan. “I wanted to be close by in case you needed me.”
“But Xan’s right—that chair’s tiny. You’re…well, you.”
I smiled at how flustered that final part of the sentence made him. “A bit of discomfort won’t kill me, Shadow. I’ve slept in worse places. And it was worth it if it kept you safe and happy.”
My mind flashed back to two nights ago, when Ryan had cried out in a moment of delirium. How he hadn’t settled until I was within touching distance. When he’d whispered six words that had almost broken me.
“Don’t leave me again, Dom. Stay.”
I knew it was probably just the fever talking, but it hadn’t stopped me kneeling by his bed for hours, stroking his hair. All the while, I’d whispered the same reassurance, over and over again.
“I’m never leaving you again, Shadow.”
Clearly, Ryan didn’t remember that, and I wasn’t going to remind him. Not yet, at least. He might not have meant what he’d said, but I had.
I meant it with every fibre of my soul.
“Well as great as this is”—Xander gave a jaw-cracking yawn—“I’m fucking knackered.”
“We’ll leave you to it.” Ryan nodded at the door.
“It was good to meet you.” I clapped Xander on the shoulder as I passed. “Get Ryan to give you my number and we can hang out sometime.”
Ryan was silent as we made our way back to the living room. He didn’t stop there either, walking straight to the front door. My heart sank. Was he going to make me leave immediately?
I wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t like the past few days were going to erase the years of pain I’d caused.
So no, I wasn’t surprised.
I was hurt, though.
Careful not to let it show on my face, I joined him at the doorway. “Enjoy the soup, Shadow.”
He scowled, stepping out after me and closing the door behind him. “I’m not done with you yet.”
My heart leapt. “You’re not?”
“Not even close. But I think it’s best we continue this conversation away from prying ears.”