I’m not coming back empty-handed either. That was the other reason I stayed so long. The pay isn’t great, but living on base means myexpenses have been super low. Every penny I’ve earned has been going into one of two accounts. The first is to invest in a company I’m starting with Taff. I’ve left most of the decisions in his hands, except for the location. It has to be within a thirty-minute drive of Farnborough. Of the place I’ll once again be calling home.
Well, that’s not strictly true. My home is wherever you are. Seeing as you’re currently in Farnborough, that’s where I’ll be too.
The other account is for a house deposit. I won’t be spending that for a while, though. Not until I have you back at my side. I want to choose our home together. Both of us. Somewhere where we can make new memories. Enough that the joy of our present and future will erase the lingering pain of the past.
I’m so close to it, Shadow. So close to getting back to you. I’ve worked all these years to secure my future. A future I want to share with you.
I hope I’ll get that chance. That we’ll get it. I don’t want you to find out how I’ve missed you through these letters, but I hope Max gives you all of them if the worst happens. I want you to know how I’ve missed you, all these years. That everything I’ve done has always been with you in mind.
Even if it doesn’t feel that way.
You might be wondering why I’ve bothered telling you about my accounts in a letter you’ll only get if I die. But I thought I should, seeing as all themoney will be left to you. Everything I own, actually. Not that there’s much, aside from the money I’ve saved. Whatever I have, it’ll be yours. You’re the sole recipient named in my will.
All I ask is that you spend it on things that will make you happy. I don’t give a shit what that is, so long as you’re truly, honestly, happy.
If that can’t be with me, if I’m taken too soon, then at least I can go knowing I’ve taken care of you. Not how I hoped to, but maybe in a way that’ll be almost as good.
I’m sorry for everything.
I love you.
Your Dominic
PS Please put your happiness first
PPS And remember that I love you. That’s never changed, and never will.
So many emotions rolled through me that I didn’t know which to deal with first. Shock that Dominic had been saving for a house…a house forus. Grief at the fear that rang through in his words, fear that he wouldn’t get to say them in person.
There was also some anger at his belief that money might make up for his absence from my life.
Nothing could do that.
But that anger was easily eclipsed by the love. The complete and utter love I felt for Dominic.
That he felt for me.
Wiping my face, I took severaldeep breaths. Finally, everything was clear in my brain. There was no doubt. No what-ifs. No fear.
I loved Dominic.
He was the one I wanted to be with.
And I had to make that happen.
I glanced at the clock and winced. Almost an hour had passed with me reading his letters. Another sixty minutes where I’d left him in limbo. Where he was probably sitting somewhere, thinking about me marrying someone else.
God, I was hurting him so much.
Tempting as it was to call him, I knew he deserved better than that. I wanted him to look into my eyes as I told him I was his forever, just as he was mine. To know that I had no doubts.
Just like he’d never had about me.
Frustrating as it was, I couldn’t go to him immediately. I had to talk to Kate. Like Dom, she deserved to hear my decision face-to-face.
My footsteps were clipped as I marched down the hall to the bridal suite. There was no denying the guilt and shame I felt. I was about to break her heart. The woman I’d made a promise to, a vow to share a life with.
But I’d made it to someone else first. Dominic was right—I was his shadow. I was part of him.