I stroked the back of his neck as I breathed him in. “She knew it would end in disaster, but she went anyway. She couldn’t resist him, even though she knew that what they shared wasn’t healthy. Knowing what would inevitably happen wasn’t enough to deter her. Nothing was.”
The song came to an end and Dean Lewis took over. Dom was too caught up in what I’d just said to notice. “You thought we’d end badly when we got together back then?”
“No,” I whispered. “But I know that now.”
“Is that what’s holding you back?” Dom’s hands tightened on my waist. “You’re scared of getting hurt again?”
This was where I reminded us both of Kate. Of the woman I’d made a vow to.
But she didn’t belong here. Not in this moment. As much of a dick as it made me, this wasn’t about her.
It was about us. Me and Dom.
“Yes,” I said. “I can’t risk it. I wouldn’t survive it again.”
His lips thinned. Then he was stepping back. My breath caught in my throat as I realised that the message had finally sunk in. He’d heard me. He was giving up.
But I was wrong.
There, in the frigid night air, Dominic sank to his knees.
I gaped as he stared up at me. “What are you doing?”
“You didn’t expect us to end the first time,” he said hoarsely. “So I’m reminding you of that moment. Of how we started. But this time, I’m on my knees for you.”
I felt a hysterical urge to laugh. “A blowjob isn’t going to fix fuck all, Dom.”
He gave me a half-smile. “You and your dirty mind, Shadow. That’s not what I’m offering. Not right now, anyway.”
“Oh,” I said, chagrined. “Then what are you doing?”
“I’m asking you for a chance.” He slid his hands up the backs of my thighs. They stopped a few tantalising inches away from where I secretly wanted them. “Begging. Please. Give me this week, Shadow.”
“To do what?”
“To show you what we can be,” Dom said. “I want us to ignore the existence of everything and everyone else. Here, we can just be us.”
God, I was tempted. More so than any decent person should have been. “We can’t do that, Dom. It’s not just our happiness at stake.”
“I don’t give a fuck about anyone but us,” he croaked. “And I know that makes me selfish, but I’ve never pretended to be anything else. I want you, Ry. Just you. All to myself.”
It was a heady thing, to be wanted so.
“Please. I’ll do anything you want, Ry. I know you’re scared. I understand why, especially given…”
His words trailed off and his fingers tightened on my thighs. Once again, I questioned the wisdom of having told him the truth. Should I have kept my mouth shut?
That right there was the issue with Dom and me. Small decisions that had far reaching consequences.
We couldn’t take them back; we could only move forward. There were two paths in front of me. The end of one was bright and clear. I knew what lay there. A comfortable marriage. A house. Maybe a few kids.
But the brightness was also cold. I might be content, but would I be happy?
The other path was hidden in shadows. I had no idea what was waiting for me there. I could hear a fire roaring, the crackling inviting me closer. I’d be warm there. I might even be happy.
There was no guarantee though. The fire was as likely to destroy me as it was to give me warmth.
I exhaled slowly, trying to make a choice. I didn’t need anyone to tell me this was another of those moments. One where the entire trajectory of my life changed. I already knew.