“Okay, and?”
She groans, resting her forehead on my thigh. “You can’t avoid him forever, Denise.”
“Maybe not.” I pat her head, but still not bothering to try and sit up. “But I sure as hell can try.”
“No.” She stands up abruptly and rips my blanket from my body. “You’re supposed to be done pushing people away.”
“I’m not pushing anyone away. What are you talking about?”
“Okay look, I love you DD, but you have been an absolute bitch for the past few months and then Lucas comes along and…you were a little bit more like you again. Still a bitch but anice bitch.”
I finally sit up while flipping her off in the process. She doesn’t even acknowledge it, just sitting down next to me again.
“I’m not saying you guys are destined by fate or whatever but you like him and he likes you. Can’t that just be enough goddamn it.”
I rest my head on Amiyah’s shoulder, letting out a deep sigh. “I don’t think I’m very good for him.”
She rests her head on mine, looping her arm around me. She shrugs. “That’s kind of up to him, D.”
“And what if he tells me to fuck off?”
“Then you’re even.”
I slap her thigh but don’t argue ’cause she’s right. Lucas would have every right to lash out at me. I haven’t been the nicest person to him.
“Okay, how about this,” Amiyah begins. “Instead of worrying that Lucas is never going to want to talk to you again, why don’t you picture him being with a really hot blonde, that isn’t you all because you’re being a chickenshit right now?”
“No I’m not.”
“Yes you are,” she argues. “If I didn’t know any better, you’re all bark and no bite.”
I pull away from her and abruptly stand up. “Me?”
She stands up with me, arms crossed just like me and I’d usually laugh at how we need to stop spending so much timetogether, but right now I might be throwing hands with my sister.
“Yes, you,” she mocks. “What happened to the Denise who still continued to dance after her hip surgery? Or the Denise that doesn’t let Grace or Addison or literally anyone else talk their shit? Where’s the Denise that was called a cunt all throughout high school but instead of crying about it, she literally reclaimed the word by being ten times worse.”
Amiyah huffs. “And I’m sorry but are you not the Denise who does whatever the fuck she wants because she feels like doing it? Grow a pair and go get your man because I promise you someone else will.”
I arch my eyebrow, realizing that I sometimes do really hate that Amiyah knows me like the back of her hand. She knows how to get to me, how to dig under my skin, and she knows that she’s just gotten away with it because her grin widens.
I grit my teeth and turn away, snatching a pair of sneakers off the floor before swinging my door open and walking out.
“Where are you going?”
“To Lucas’s apartment,” I say as if this should be obvious, since she just gave me this whole speech that I’m pretty sure she practiced in the mirror before coming in here.
Just as I make it down the hallway and stairs and to the front door, Amiyah’s hand wraps around my wrist, keeping me in place. I turn to look at her, eyes squinted.
“What?” I ask.
Amiyah sighs, stepping closer. “I mean I know I kind of egged you on just a little but you’re going because I inspired you, right? Not just ’cause you’re trying to prove me wrong?”
I immediately shake my head. That’s actually the last thing on my mind but I don’t feel the need to tell her to her face that her whole speech actually worked on me. “No, I’m going because I…”
I like him.
I think about him all the time.