It's blood.
"Now is not the time," I say.
"When is?" she asks quietly, something breaking in her voice.
"When this isn't chaos." I answer feeling beyond exhausted.
She runs both hands through her hair, pulling on the ends slightly, before rubbing her palms over her thighs. "It's always chaos." She says it almost to herself, like it didn’t matter if I heard it.
But I fucking heard her.
Is that how she feels? Like, we are in constant chaos?
My heart is racing because I can feel her slipping away, this isn’t my wife… and I have no idea what the fuck is going on.
How do I fix this? I am barely home and already feel like I am being pulled in too many directions.
She looks down at her feet, fingers playing with the hem of her tank top.
"If you're not coming to bed tonight," she says, softer now, "I don't want to stay here."
"You're safe here." I groan, because I am not doing this again.
"Am I?" She looks me in the eye now, and there are so many emotions swirling in hers.
"Yes." I say with all the confidence I have.
She studies me like she doesn't believe it, like she's measuring something I can't see.
"I can't compete with an entire club," she says, tears pooling in her eyes.
What the fuck does that mean?
Doesn't she know I just got back from a run to a shit show? All I wanted was her. But my brother is in jail. Mara is missing... I am tired and don't have the energy to deal with more than I already am.
"You're not competing." I sigh. Exhaustion threatening to weigh me down, but I don't have time to stop or rest.
But she sees it, because I'm already backing toward the door.
Already choosing.
Angel calls my name, and I hesitate.
I want to cross the room, grab her face and tell her she's not second, that she is everything to me…
But the club is burning downstairs, and she steps back first.
"Go." Her voice is resigned.
I don't respond; I don't know what to say. So I turn and follow my brothers to Church.
Church drags, longer than it should.
Cypher lays out what he knows, while Ledger pushes back on weak points, and Axel argues to put pressure on the sheriff.
Razor talks too much, even for Razor. He's too animated. Too invested in the idea that someone inside flipped.
Angel shuts him down twice.