CLUTCH - AN END
It had been three days since Razor blew through our gates, fucked with our minds and left us all feeling exposed. If Bex held up the mirror, Razor smashed it, and now we have to decide whether it's worth picking up the pieces.
I heard Gavin talking to Angel earlier, giving his medical opinion that whatever we expected to get out of Razor and Lacey needed to happen today. Lacey had an infection that had likely led to sepsis, and he wouldn’t continue to stitch up Razor, no matter what the psychopath had done.
Angel had done something he never had before; he called church and invited a new era of the Dawnbreakers with it. Church was held in the bunk room, as Axel still hadn’t gotten up from his bed. He was starting to stay awake for longer periods of time, but he still wasn’t ready to be ‘discharged’ from the doctor's care. Meg had gotten up to leave when Angel told her that church would be held where Axel was, but he shook his head and told her she was staying.
With a confused but curious look, she sat beside me as more people came in. The brothers entered, accompanied by Mara and Dani. Both had similar confused and weary expressions when they entered the room. But they grabbed chairs and dragged them over to my bed, close to Meg.
Cypher and Four were the last two to enter, and I didn't miss the way Cypher’s eyes went to the bed Meg had been in, and then a panicked look overtook his features before his eyes locked on her beside me. He gave me a dirty look and then moved to stalk over to us when Angel put his arm out blocking him. Cypher grumbled, butAngel shot him a look, and he took a few steps back, leaning against the wall, but his eyes didn’t leave Meg.
I leaned forward, quietly asking Mara, “Where is Marisol?”
She let out a long sigh and replied, “She hasn't left her bed, except for when one of us makes her go for a walk or to use the bathroom. She’s… not okay.”
Four stood beside Angel, his eyes moving over anyone who was still talking until the entire room went quiet.
Angel cleared his throat, “I know some of you are confused about why church is being held here and why…”
A brother from Angel’s father, Tank’s presidency interrupted him, “I don’t fucking care where we hold church but why is the pussy in the room?”
Angel didn’t move, but the look he levelled the brother, left no room for misinterpretation, He held up a hand popping up a finger as he made his statement “Fucking interrupt me again and you know where the door is. Call the women in this room pussy again and you know where the fucking door is.” With his two fingers extended he pointed at the door behind him and let his eyes land on every person in the room.
“We aren’t the club we used to be, we aren’t the men we claim to be. We have failed… failed at being good men,fuckwe failed at being descent humans. We got so caught up in our ego’s, in the way we assumed our life should work… we fucked up. Bex…” Angel shook his head and then looked at me for a moment before continuing.
“She was right, she saw us so clearly…”
“That fucking bitch…” The same brother interrupted Angel again and the look on his face sent a chill across the room.
“Get out!” Angel yelled, as I jumped up, the stitches pulling at my shoulder but no one would speak about her that way. Never again.
The brother at the back of the room stood, I recognized him as one of Tank’s friends, one of the last members from that time. “Your father would be ashamed.” he snarled.
Angel shrugged as Mara tried to stand from her chair to defend her brother, but Dani put her hand on her shoulder, steadying her. “You are right. He would be. But not for the reasons you are assuming.”
The brother looked confused, but Angel kept going, “He would be angry as hell at what I let go on here, how Mara was treated. How it took Bex, a woman, standing in the middle of the main room of our clubhouse, holding her own against all of us.” He trailed his eyes across everyone in the room ending on the brother standing in the back, punctuating each word, “Heragainst all ofus. And she still stood taller than any man in this room has the right to stand.”
The brother still didn’t get it, and stuck his foot in his mouth for the last time, “That bitch…”
I moved, across the room my fist flying before anyone could say another word. His face twisted to the side, blood and spit flying from his mouth. Four was there beside me, but not to stop me, no Four held him up, “Want to get a few more in before I take out the garbage?”
My first instinct was to say yes, I wanted to hurt him with my hands, but when I saw him I saw the blood on Bex lip… I saw the life, light and love drain from her eyes. I closed my eyes for a moment and shook my headno. We needed to do better, be better.
I heard Four muttergoodunder his breath and then, “Keep going Angel, I just need to deal with this…” Four started moving towards the door, shoving the older brother in front of him, his left hand twisted in the back of his cut and shirt, “... I am one hundred percent behind what Angel is here to talk about, anyone who doesn't agree can meet me out back.”
And with that parting message, Four wrestled the remnants of our past out the back door.
Angel cleared his throat as I looked down at my fist and then noticed movement near my bed. When I looked up Dani had a sad smile on her face and she tapped the bed where I had been sitting. A small gesture meant just for me, maybe for Bex too. So without a word, I made my way back and sat down trying not to jostle Meg and avoiding the look Cypher was shooting my way.
“We can’t go back, and we shouldn’t want to.” Angel’s voice was clear, strong. “We have a lot to learn, a lot to figure out… But one thing we can do now, one thing we can make right… We can start by doing something I never thought I would. And I don’t know why… it doesn't make us weaker, if anything…”
His eyes drifted to the women around me, “...If anything, they make us stronger. Hold us accountable and add to our club.”
He cleared his throat and then went to a bag I hadn’t noticed on the floor by the door, he grabbed it and turned to the room, moving towards Meg’s empty bed, he pulled out cuts that I started to recognize, Property of Cypher, Axel, Four, he continued until… the last one made the breath stall in my lungs… Property of Clutch.
“Bex was right, we treat women as a commodity, as an extension of who we are in this club, instead of equals at our side. We treat them like property.”
He took a knife from his pockets and with precision slid it under the sewn on patch, under the word property. Then with the whole room watching he slowly made his way removing every patch but the Dawnbreaker crest. The leather is darker where the patches once lay.