“Now, Vanessa,” he said. He guided her hips, and she lowered herself onto him. He filled her, so full in this position, as if for the first time she could take in all of him.
His eyes latched on to hers. She moved, tentatively at first, but then she found her rhythm. Over and over again she rocked onto him, keeping her balance by pressing her hands onto his firm chest.
His hand found her again, slid over her sex as she rode him. He was so deep, so full, and with her commanding the pace, she knew when to increase her speed and intensify the force. Deeper and harder she rode him until the world fractured. She shook with her release, but never stopped moving.
And then his hit. He grabbed onto her hips, rocking her as a guttural groan escaped from his throat. All the while, he never looked away from her, never closed his eyes.
“Vanessa,” he whispered.
The intimacy was so great in that moment that she had to look away for fear he would see into her very soul.
CHAPTER 21
The sound of the train chugging along the tracks provided a rhythmic backdrop. They lay quietly in their sleeper car, Vanessa snug against Graeme’s side, his hand tracing lazily over her naked back. She felt good pressed against him, not only in a lustful way, but somehow, she fit precisely in that spot next to him, as if it had been carved specifically for her.
She fascinated him, his wife. She was smart, as smart as any man he’d ever known, and her wit was sharp and clever. He’d never known her to be overly temperamental. Most of the women he’d known were prone to fits of emotion, whether of enthusiasm or sadness; most women lived life by their heart. But not Vanessa, at least not outwardly.
Her sister had betrayed her, yet he’d never seen her shed a single tear over the fact, nor had she ever spoken an ill word about the woman.
“Vanessa,” he said softly in case she slept. But he was curious.
“Mmm-hmmm,” she murmured.
“Tell me about Jeremy. What happened?” he asked.
She tilted her head and looked up at him, but made no move to leave her spot. “I told you everything. We were engaged, and two days before our wedding, I found him with my younger sister. That’s pretty much the entire story.”
“You must be angry,” he said.
“Of course.” She splayed her hand on his chest, her palm flattening against his skin. “Initially I was, but that seems so long ago now, and I can see that Jeremy and I would not have made a good match.”
He thought to ask how she thought of their match, but it mattered not. They were husband and wife, end of discussion. There would be no going back. No running away. Not for either of them. “But what of your sister? Are you not furious with her betrayal?”
“I won’t lie and say it did not hurt me. But she cannot help who she is any more than I can help who I am,” Vanessa said plainly, as if that bit of rubbish explained everything, excused all behavior.
“She betrayed you,” Graeme repeated.
“Yes, she did. And it was selfish and cruel. But my family hasn’t ever known precisely what to do with me. I’ve never fit in with any of them. My father, who was also a scientist, thought me a fool and told me so regularly. He didn’t see a place for women in the field. He thought us weak-minded and silly. He thought I was naïve to believe I could follow in his path.
“My mother, bless her soul,” she continued, “tried her best to turn me into the perfect daughter. She managed just fine with her other two girls, but with me, nothing worked. I couldn’t hold my tongue in social settings. I wasn’t interested in learning to dance or how to plan a dinner party or run a household. I wanted to read, or go outside and explore.”
“Seems to me your father would have appreciated your nature, been able to relate better to it than to that of a girl who preferred frilly dresses and balls,” Graeme said.
“I thought that too for a long while, and tried my damnedest to make him see it, but my efforts were in vain,” she said with a sad little laugh. She absently toyed with the hair on his chest.
Graeme knew all too well what it was like to try to have a relationship with a father who hadn’t given a damn. His own father had been cruel—not so much physically abusive, but he’d given Graeme tongue-lashings more times than Graeme could count.
“In any case, my mother eventually gave up and left me to my own devices. When I started corresponding with Jeremy through a scientific journal, I had no romantic notions about him. As I saw it, he was merely another scientist, and we shared similar views on many subjects. At least initially. After a month of letters between us, he came to London for a symposium. We met for tea and our professional camaraderie continued.”
Graeme ran his fingers through her soft hair.
“One day we happened on the discussion of romantic love and realized rather quickly that we both shared the same view of the emotion. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, we’d arranged an engagement, both believing we’d have the perfect union, one built on professional respect. We’d never be bothered or distracted by the frivolous emotions that seemed to consume so many around us.”
It was a logical, though naïve, conclusion, but he would not tell her that. While he wasn’t certain that romantic love was a lasting emotion, he knew it existed and had seen two of his friends fall into it. He also knew that, however foolishly, his mother had truly loved his father at one time.
Vanessa chuckled, though the sound was completely void of mirth. “Who could blame the fellow when he met Violet? My sisters are both so beautiful. Victoria is already married with two children, so that left me and Violet. She’s barely nineteen, though, and while she’s already been a huge success with the men in London, she hadn’t garnered any proposals. We all knew it was only a matter of time. She’s truly lovely.”
“You’re lovely,” he said.