It's just one tiny word, but it's such a difference from what he would have done before – which is, ignore me – that it has my stomach doing a little somersault. Ever since I admitted to myself about the feelings I have for him, I've found it hard to keep them as just the background noise that they were before.
“Hey.”
“Are you, um, coming over tonight?”
My insides flutter around at the fact that he asked me that, even though it's more than likely more to do with him preparing himself for me invading his space once again.
Movement over his shoulder catches my eye, and I see Jolene reorganizing some shelves at the other end of the store.
My loyalties are suddenly tugged harshly in different directions. She was attacked by someone just like Jacob. That thought has the flutters disappearing instantly, and it feels like the rose-colored glasses I was wearing were ripped off, reminding me again that I shouldn't be feeling this way.
I swallow down the lump in my throat and answer him.
“Um, not tonight. I was up really early, so I need to have an early night.”
“Oh, sure, yeah.”
I know my ears didn't deceive me just now when I heard the disappointment in his tone. It has all the mixed-up feelings inside me pulling and pushing and clashing together.
I total his items in silence, hating the way I'm so torn. He keeps his focus down, much like he did the first time I saw him in here, and I don't like it.
I watch as he turns to walk away with his stuff, the knot around my stomach tightening further with each step he takes.
And then my mouth opens before I can think twice about it.
“Jacob.” He turns his head to look over his shoulder. “I'll be over tomorrow night.”
CHAPTER 13
Jacob
When Remi used to turn up at my place here and there and stay for only short periods of time, I thought that was bad enough. But it's nothing compared to now.
She's at my house almost daily now. It makes it hard for me to ignore her and ignore the growing attraction I feel for her.
At first, when she was always asking her questions, I would give a dickish response to try to make her leave me alone. That didn't work. So I started answering just to shut her pretty mouth up. Now, I answer because I've found that I like having someone to talk to after all these years.
I like her company, and that's a fucking disaster for a number of reasons.
The only other person I've ever felt anything for is the very reason my life is the way it is now. I don't know if I could ever truly believe that something like that would never happen again.
Besides, what kind of life could I possibly hope to give her? We could never go out anywhere together. I can barely afford food and shit as it is. How would I be able to get her any type of gift? I had to pick some flowers from the side of the road and put them in one of my drinking glasses for the table tonight.
I'm being a fucking idiot even thinking about that shit anyway. Why the hell would she ever consider me like that? It's amazing that she's even hanging around in the first place. I'm probably just some charity case for her.
There's still that other thought that I haven't completely ruled out as well; that she's working some scheme to get me to leave.
Still, I can't find it in me to keep pushing her away, so I let her come over. I let her hang around, and I just suffer with my feelings.
There's a knock at the door right on time. She's always punctual, which I kind of really like. Everything was on a schedule in prison, so I've become accustomed to it when I have something planned.
After a quick glance at the cameras to make sure the lights are on, I head over to the door. I have to fight to keep my eyes focused on her face when I open it up.
She's fucking gorgeous, wearing a cute little dress that shows the swells of her tits and hugs her curves nicely. It kind of seems like she's been wearing nicer things lately, but I could just be reading something from nothing.
What do I know about how girls act anyway?
She lets go of a strand of hair that she was playing with and smiles widely at me.