Thathas my indecision from before vanishing in an instant. I can't just give up on him.
“Hi,” I answer with a smile as I scan his items. “How have you been?”
He gives me a look that says, “how do you think” as he hands me the cash and then opens his mouth to say something.
But then someone is entering the store, and his mouth snaps shut. I watch as he retreats back into himself. His face hardens, and he refuses to make eye contact with me again.
Even when the person that came in heads straight to the back of the store out of sight, and there is no one else around, Jacob still doesn't look at me or say another word. He just picks up his stuff and stalks out.
If I continue to pursue a friendship with him, I guess that's the type of thing I can expect to happen on a regular basis. Although he really only comes into the store once or twice a week, the rest of the time I would be at his place. There wouldn't be any risk of people finding out about our “friendship” there.
I finish up my shift for the day and grab some ingredients for spaghetti. I'm not going to try to teach him this time. I'll just make it at my place and then take it over to him already cooked.
It occurs to me while I'm paying for my stuff that Jacob has never bought anything other than the most basic food items. I wonder if that's just because he doesn't cook anything else or because he doesn't have the money for better-tasting things?
“Have a good night.” I wave goodbye to Jolene and Michael, the high school kid she has coming in in the evenings, and head home.
Once I've showered and cooked the food, I take an unusually long amount of time deciding what I want to wear and then end up chastising myself for being so ridiculous. Am I really trying to dress nicely for him?
I end up putting on a pair of denim shorts with a tank top underneath a loose t-shirt. It's been quite warm lately, so if I get too hot I can always take the t-shirt off.
Halfway through the walk to his place, my phone starts ringing inside my pocket. The name Dad flashes on the screen when I pull it out, and my feet stutter before coming to a stop. I can't believe he's actually calling me after all this time. My first thought is to ignore it, but I haven't talked to him since before I came here, and I know I have to face him sooner or later.
“Hello?”
“This nonsense has gone on long enough.”
No warm hellosor anything. No asking how I am. Just like my mom when she called.
“What nonsense?” I ask because none of this is nonsense to me. This is my life.
“You running off like that. I've allowed you to have this time, but enough is enough.”
He's allowed me? “Dad, I'm twenty-six years old. I can do whatever I like and live wherever I like.”
“You think that, do you? What about your responsibilities to this family?”
I sigh, closing my eyes and dropping my chin to my chest. “Dad, the life you and mom live . . . I'm not cut out for it. Plea–”
“It's time you came home,” he cuts in.
The thought of going back there makes me feel physically ill. There is no way I'm giving up my home here, and without thinking, I look up at Jacob's house ahead.
“Thisis my home now.” I hang up and then quickly turn my phone off.
Staring at my phone clutched tightly in my hand, I take a few deep breaths. I can't believe I just did that. No one hangs up on my father. I shake my head and put my phone away. What's he going to do? He doesn't know where I am.
And I've got more important things to worry about right now anyway.
When I arrive at Jacob's place with the food, the sun is starting to get blocked out by some dark clouds forming along the horizon. It looks as if we'll be getting another storm later on.
After knocking on his door, I take a step back and wait for him to open up. A few seconds later, he speaks from the inside.
“What do you want?”
Looking up at the camera, I take another step back and hold the bag of food up in case he's watching. “I brought Spaghetti for dinner. It's already cooked, so you don't have to learn.” This time.
When he finally opens the door, the conversation with my father is the last thing on my mind, and I have to will my eyes to stay focused on his face.