Clenching her hands into fists, Mantheria was frustrated that she had made the wrong decision.Andrew had continued to Tunley.It felt as if her throat was closing up, but she managed to choke out, “Thank you for the kindness you have shown my son, Mr.Ford.”
“’Twas your son who was kind to me, Your Grace.”Mr.Ford reached into his coat pocket and took out one of Andrew’s buttons.“I told him all about a young lady I was courting, and he cut off this silver button from his coat and told me to melt it down to a ring for her.Master Andrew said that it would be quite a story to tell my children and my grandchildren about the day I gave a wagon ride to a duke and received a button to make into a ring.I’ll be headed to the blacksmith tomorrow.”
Despite her disappointment at not finding her son again, the corners of Mantheria’s lips curved upward.It would make for a good story.“Andrew is a good lad.”
Sunny grinned.“And a clever one.”
Mr.Ford’s focus moved from Sunny back to her.“The pint-sized duke gave me one other piece of advice, Your Grace, and I can’t help but think that it might have been meant for you.”
She breathed in deeply, certain that she was about to be told by another stranger of lower rank to give her son more freedom.Exhaling, Mantheria managed a polite, “And what is that, sir?”
“That I shouldn’t wait to tell my lass that I love her.That we should all grab what happiness we can now, for you never know when the person we love the most might die.”
Mantheria’s eyes filled with tears.“Andrew’s father died last month.”
Mr.Ford shook his head.“I don’t think that he was talking about him.Master Andrew mentioned how unhappy you were, Your Grace.The person he wanted to grab happiness ’twere you.He said that his late father had been happy with a woman he called Cressy.”
Wiping away an errant tear that was falling down her cheek, Mantheria bitterly regretted not allowing Andrew to visit Lady Dutton.Perhaps if she had, her son would not have run away.Nor would she have been forced to learn from a stranger that Andrew wanted more freedom and from a farmer that her own child did not think that she was happy.Mantheria brought both of her gloved hands to her face and roughly wiped off the tears.“I will try harder to be happy, Mr.Ford, and I wish you every success with your lass.”
Taking deep breaths, Mantheria returned to where she had tied up her horse.Sunny stood waiting to help her into the sidesaddle.She gave him a small nod, and he lifted her up with no difficulty.Her friend was not stocky like Wick, but he was still strong.Her throat was still too thick for words, so Mantheria could only give him a nod of thanks.He untied her horse from the post and handed her the bridle before freeing his horse and mounting it.They quietly retraced their steps at a strong gallop back to the turnpike and turned toward Tunley.She felt a raindrop hit her cheek and slide down.The sky had begun to sprinkle, and the clouds above them were growing darker by the minute.
“We’d better let our horses walk for a little while,” Sunny said loudly as he slowed his hack down.
Sighing, Mantheria did the same.It would do her no good to lame this poor beast.She would not get to Andrew any faster.
Sunny rode next to her silently for another mile as a light rain fell upon them.He angled his hack close enough to her horse for their legs to brush against each other.“Your walls are up again, Helen of Troy.”
“What?”Mantheria said more sharply than she’d meant to.
Her friend didn’t take offense at her tone, but he merely smiled reassuringly back at her.The lower half of his face glistened from the rain that his hat didn’t block.“Your walls.You put them up to keep the rest of the world out, but usually not me.I don’t know what I have done to lose your confidence, but I would beg humbly for your forgiveness.”
Mantheria’s back stiffened in the saddle.Even her ribs felt uncomfortably tight.“You have no need to beg for my forgiveness, Sunny.You have done so much to help me these past few days.I am eternally in your debt.”
“Then, why are you shutting me out?”
She swallowed.Her throat felt like it was coated in dirt.She could have used a drink of water and possibly a glass of something stronger.How could she possibly articulate her complicated feelings for Sunny?She’d once loved him.Then he’d become her steady and wonderful friend for the last twelve years as only a bachelor could be.But if he was ready for marriage, their friendship as it currently stood would need to come to an end.He would marry a young debutante who was not frigid, and they would have many children together.No doubt they would be the sort of happy that Andrew wished for Mantheria to be.
If only it were so simple.
If only Mantheria could tell the world that she was going to be happy, and then magically, she would be.She had more to be grateful for than most.Mantheria was blessed with loving and supportive parents and family.She had a wonderful son and several beautiful homes.She was a duchess and was treated with respect almost everywhere she went, save the George Hotel in Bath.But Andrew was right.She wasn’t happy, and she did not know how to change that.And she only had herself to blame.
“I am not shutting you out as much as I am shutting myself in,” she said at last, her voice raspy and dry, although the rest of her was damp from the falling rain.“Andrew seems to have left messages for me with everyone he meets.I thought that I was a good mother.But it appears that I need to add parenting to my list of flaws.”
“I don’t think that’s the case at all.”Sunny angled his horse close again and reached over and briefly rubbed her back.His touch was both calming and comforting.“I think that Andrew loves you very much and that his going on an adventure is just a part of growing up and testing the boundaries that have been placed upon him.As a lad, I snuck off to see a cock fight that I knew my mother did not approve of, and I even drank a pint of beer at a pub.Then I was sick all the way home.”
Mantheria had never run away herself.But she had been given much more freedom on her father’s estate.There had not been a servant watching her every movement.She’d explored the woods near the castle and gone on little adventures with Elizabeth.They’d even made their own hut from sticks and dead branches that was dreadfully precarious and so much fun.Poor Andrew did not have a wonderful companion his age like Elizabeth.Nor had Mantheria allowed him to roam without supervision.
Once she found Andrew, and she would, Mantheria was determined to give him more freedom at home, particularly on the safe grounds of Avalon Palace.“You’re right.I only wish that he had friends of a similar age.”
“Send him to the local grammar school.”
Andrew already had a perfectly good governess.“But he is a duke.”
“He’s more of a boy than duke.And I would have much preferred attending the local grammar school than memorizing Latin with the vicar.That’s why I got into fights when I finally attended Eton at thirteen—I had never been with lads my own age, and I didn’t know how to make friends.Perhaps if my mother had sent me to a local school and I had been able to make friends with boys of a similar age, I would not have ended up taunting your brother and getting my nose broken in the process.”
A reluctant smile formed on her lips.“I like your crooked nose.It gives your face character.”
Sunny gave her a smile that set her pulse racing.“I don’t mean to be another person who is giving you unwanted advice or telling you how to parent your son.I have no children of my own and therefore, no knowledge of how to be a father.But like Andrew, I was once a young duke, and I can speak from my own experience that it can be a lonely state.”