He looked out the window and then walked up behind her and whispered in her ear, ‘This is hardly the time or place to discuss my time with the British ambassador to France.’
Frederica bristled, but remained silent. The owner knocked twice and carried in a tray of food and a pint of ale. They ate in silence and when they were finished, Samuel called for the horses and paid their shot. The owner eyed Frederica on their way out and gave her one last leery grin. She shuddered. Glad that she was not alone.
They rode for another three hours before Samuel slowed his horse down to a trot and she followed suit. ‘We should give the horses a rest.’
Frederica nodded, but did not speak a word. They rode side by side for a quarter of an hour before Samuel said, ‘I am sorry. I did not mean to offend you.’
‘Oh,’ was all that she could think to say.
Samuel suggested that they dismount and walk for a little while to rest their mounts. Frederica readily agreed.
‘I have always wanted to travel,’ Frederica said suddenly. ‘That is why I persuaded Mama to take me to Brussels. I loved the year that I spent in Italy.’
‘After this is over, I will take you anywhere you wish to go,’ Samuel said, taking her hand and holding it.
‘I should like to see the places you have lived—France, Austria, and Spain. My little sisters are in Greece with Papa and I am terribly jealous. They write of all the little islands that they visit in their boat.’
He squeezed her hand. ‘I hope you are not planning on guiding the boat. When we went punting near Farleigh, you hit a tree branch in the water and nearly toppled into the river.’
Frederica laughed at her younger self; she had fallen into the boat and it had left her covered in bruises. ‘Well, I think the blame lies squarely with the person who taught me how to punt.’
‘Nonsense, I gave very clear instructions.’
‘Don’t hit the tree,’ she mimicked. ‘Not one word about how to move the boat in a different direction, going against the current, and after I fell into the boat and quite scraped up my hands and knees, all you said was “I told you not to hit the tree”.’
‘I was insufferable,’ he agreed.
‘So was I, but for quite a different reason than you.’
His hold on her hand tightened. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You were always trying to avoid me or running away from me.’
‘Well, I am not running away now,’ he said, winking suggestively.
Frederica gulped audibly, and Samuel pulled her into his arms for a brief kiss. He released her, and she felt her heart in her chest beating against her corset.
‘I chased you because you ignored me,’ she blurted out. Her face and neck growing hot. ‘And the more you ignored me, the greater lengths I went to get your attention. Culminating in putting a bear cub in your room and yet you still acted as if I was beneath your notice. I could never decide if I liked or hated you more.’
One side of his mouth quirked up. ‘I would ask if you like or hate me more now, but I am too afraid of the answer.’
‘And I am still afraid that you will run away from me or laugh at my feelings for you.’
There.
She had said her greatest fear. The true reason why she kept him an arm’s length from her heart. She was so scared of getting hurt again. Of offering her heart on a platter, only to have him refuse it.
‘I noticed you that last summer,’ he said quietly, his eyes meeting hers. ‘How could I not? You had grown breasts. Beautiful large breasts and I could not stop staring at them. I was afraid that you had caught me more than once, so I tried not to look at you at all. I was seventeen and you were only fourteen. You were too young for me then. I was supposed to be the mature one, but the ragamuffin little girl who had chased me and beat me at everything was turning into a lovely young woman. And I did not want to think of you that way. It made me feel dirty like my father. That is why I gave you the chocolates and told you that you were immature. I wanted you to avoid me. To hate me. But in truth, I was the immature one.’
‘And now?’
‘I still cannot stop myself from staring at your large breasts.’
Frederica giggled and playfully hit his shoulder. ‘Do be serious.’
‘I am,’ he assured her with a saucy grin. ‘But the rest of your figure now commands equal attention. I adore the sway of your hips and the roundness of your bottom.’
At least he was attracted to her now and did not try to avoid her. She could hardly expect him to tell a woman he was compelled to marry because of family debts that he loved her. ‘So I could be headless and it would not matter to you.’