Once they reached the park, they began running along the path. Andrew tried to keep up with them, and Mantheria followed her son. Louisa slowly walked behind them and found Wick by her side. The familiar thrill of his nearness caused her pulse to quicken and her mind to reel. She wished she knew what to say to him. How to comfort so great a loss.
Wick cleared his throat. ‘I suppose I won’t see you again until tomorrow night at Sunny’s ball. He’s promised actual fireworks, after I assured him that we were not going to offer another free drama or more fighting for his guests. He confessed his keen disappointment, but still wishes us to come.’
A smile played on his lips and made him look breathtakingly handsome. Wick was so dear to her. Too dear, perhaps.
‘How forbearing of him,’ she teased gently. ‘Who is hostess for the ball? A gentleman doesn’t host a party alone, I believe?’
He nodded. ‘Sunny’s mother, the Dowager Duchess of Sunderland, will be the formal hostess, but I can assure you that Sunny, or at least his secretary, has done all the work. The Dowager has spent the last twenty-three years making mourning a profession. She wears only black, and often a veil over her face. The clocks in Sunderland House have not been set since the death of the late Duke, and she keeps black curtains on all the windows. She only bestirs herself from her coffin-like house during the season, when she half-heartedly tries to marry Sunny off to an heiress.’
Louisa felt a pang of sympathy for Sunny; her own father had not been the same after her mother had died. It had been as if he were a shell of the person he once was. He’d no longer read to her or played with her. She had felt as if he’d died three years before he actually had.
‘I suppose she’ll like me, then,’ she said with a forced laugh. ‘My title and my money are quite the best things about me.’
Wick stopped walking and touched her arm. ‘I know she will like you—and not just because you are an heiress. Your fortune is the least interesting thing about you.’
She sighed ruefully. ‘Or lack thereof. I am probably the only penniless heiress. I hate it that I have imposed so much upon Mantheria. It makes me want to accept the first offer of marriage I receive so that I will be able to repay her.’
His hand tightened on her arm. ‘Do not rush into a marriage that you may some day regret. If you’re worried about the bills,Iwill repay her.’
‘I am not your responsibility either. You have quite enough of that, with your little sisters, and in my humble opinion you are doing a wonderful job. You clearly love them, and you listen to them. I know that you have their best interests at heart and will find the perfect governess for them.’
Wick dropped his hand. ‘I do love them dearly, and I wish that I could protect them from all the dangers in the world.’
Louisa shook her head. ‘You cannot protect them, but you can prepare them...and catch them when they fall.’
Wick’s brown eyes gazed intently into hers. ‘Who catches you, Louisa?’
You,she thought.
That day on the road, when he’d mistaken her for the governess and brought her to Hampford Castle with his sisters, he had saved her from a life of not knowing a loving family or a happy home. An existence without friends her own age. Wick had made her dreams of being presented to the Queen and having a London season come true—everything her mother had planned for her.
She spun her parasol. ‘Your sisters,’ she said. ‘Becca, I would say, caught me first, when she begged you to let me stay, but no doubt Frederica and Helen would argue that it was them. And I don’t know what I would do without Mantheria. She is like the sister I always wanted but never had.’
Louisa had tried to lighten the mood, but Wick continued to frown, his countenance serious. Blushing, she wondered if he thought she was trying to take Elizabeth’s place in Mantheria’s life. Her words had been so thoughtless!
‘Not that I am her real sister,’ she said. ‘I could never be that. And I would never presume to fill the void left by her twin... I only meant to convey that Mantheria has treated me better than anyone of my own family and I will never be able to repay her goodness to me.’
Wick shook his head. ‘I do not think you are being presumptuous. If I appear stern, it has nothing to do with you. It is the weight of loss and guilt. Because I didn’t realise how much Mantheria has had to bear on her own. I thought... I thought I was shouldering the burden. I didn’t know how much responsibility she was taking. If you are providing her with a confidante and friend of her own age, I can only be grateful to you. She needs one now more than ever, with her philandering husband.’
‘Must you carry your burden alone?’ Louisa whispered. ‘My housekeeper, Mrs Barker, always said that we share our burdens so that they may be lighter. I know that each of your sisters would happily share yours with you, and I would help you in any way that I can. When you carry your burden alone, it makes you lonely.’
He turned his head away from her. ‘Why should they have to carry the burden of my guilt when it wasn’t their fault? They were only children. Becca and Helen don’t even remember the night Charles and Elizabeth died. But it’s emblazoned in my memory. I have never felt more helpless in my life. I knew that I had let them down, but I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t—I couldn’t—’
Wick stopped mid-sentence, his voice choked with emotion.
Louisa longed to throw her arms around him. To hold him. To comfort him. To share the burden that caused him to push her and everyone he loved away. But he wouldn’t let her.
Clearing his throat, Wick offered his arm. ‘Shall we catch up with my sisters? I can’t have them falling into any scrapes before we return to Hampford Castle at the end of the week.’
Louisa gently placed her hand in the crook of his elbow and they continued walking. She felt more sorrowful with every step. He was leaving.
‘Have you found a governess yet?’ she asked.
‘No,’ he said. ‘I will be interviewing several candidates tomorrow, that Mantheria has found from an agency. I am hopeful that one of them will be good enough.’
Taking a deep breath, Louisa couldn’t help but give him some unwanted advice. ‘You should ask Mantheria and Mrs May to go with you for the interviews. Mantheria will know who will prepare the girls best for society. Mrs May can get the girls to look after Andrew.’
Wick didn’t say anything, so Louisa tumbled on in her speech, ‘After we arrived home from my Uncle Laybourne’s, Helen asked Mrs May where her new snake was, and your housekeeper pretended that she didn’t know what your sister was talking about. But I knew she did. She had let the snake out in my aunt’s best parlour. I realised then and there that Mrs May doesn’t let your sisters flummery her, and that she has a great affection for them. I know that she is not their mother, but I think if you asked her she would help. With a governess, of course. She already has her duties as housekeeper. Then you’d be free to conduct your business affairs.’