Louisa shook her head slowly, her heart sinking further. ‘I don’t blame my cousin for not wishing to marry me. I don’t want to marry him either.’
‘Of course Barnabas wishes to marry you,’ her aunt said in a scolding tone. ‘He simply isn’t ready to do so yet.’
‘But Aunt—’
‘Louisa!’ she said, in a high shrill voice. ‘I am done with discussing the matter. You had best go and see if Mrs Barker has any mending for you to do. I can’t have you underneath my feet all day. You’ve already wasted half of my morning, and I have important correspondence to write.’
Shoulders slumped, Louisa left the parlour and went to the kitchens to find the housekeeper. When she opened the door, she saw the entire staff were lined up They all began to wish her a happy birthday and the cook, Mrs Hatch, held out a small cake that was decorated with a delicate white swan on top.
Louisa couldn’t help but smile as tears fell down her cheeks. Mrs Barker and the rest of the staff had not forgotten her birthday. They loved her even if she was ugly.
‘Thank you! Oh, thank you!’ Louisa said, accepting the cake from the cook. ‘I have never seen a more beautifully decorated cake. I am the luckiest young lady in the world! Come, we must all have a piece of it together.’
‘We can’t eat with you, my lady,’ the butler, Mr Meadows, insisted. ‘It wouldn’t be proper.’
She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. ‘Oh, please do join me. Or I shall have to eat this marvellous cake by myself, and that would be such a sad thing on my birthday.’
Mrs Hatch had a merry red face and she cut the cake into perfectly even slices and gave Louisa the first one. Louisa took a bite and it was like tasting heaven—sweet, buttery and light. Her aunt rarely let her partake of anything sweet. She insisted that it was to preserve Louisa’s figure.
She took another bite of cake, but this time it tasted like ash. She forced herself to swallow it and then played with her fork, unable to eat any more.
‘Am I truly ugly?’ she blurted out.
Mrs Hatch dropped the knife she was holding and it clattered on the table top. ‘Why would ye ask such a thing, my lady?’
‘Of course not,’ Mrs Barker said, patting Louisa’s shoulder with her bony hand. She was an extremely slender elderly woman, with fine features and soft white hair. ‘You’re a beauty, just like your mother was.’
Louisa could feel a blush coming on. Her red hair and light complexion were unfortunately prone to blushes.
She glanced down at the slice of cake on her plate. ‘My aunt said that I was ill-favoured and would not be able to find a suitable husband. She insists that I marry my cousin Barnabas. Only he doesn’t want to marry me yet...so I have to wait a few more years.’
‘Don’t marry that lecher, my lady!’ said Lily, a pretty blonde maid a year or two younger than Louisa. She squeezed Louisa’s wrist. ‘He ain’t worthy of you.’
‘The old witch just wants your fortune for her son,’ said Goodman. He was a bald, gruff elderly man who had been head groom under her father, but now was relegated to a lowlier position in the stables.
Louisa clutched at her throat. It felt as hot as her face. She had no family who loved her or would help her.
‘I don’t want to marry Barnabas. He’s a dreadful person. Only, I don’t know what to do. Or who to ask for help. I don’t even know the names of my trustees. My mother’s only brother is a vicar in Somerset, but I’ve never been in contact with their family... And look at me. No one would believe I was a lady or an heiress.’
‘Right,’ said Mrs Barker, pointing a bony finger at her. ‘First things first. You’ll need a new dress. There’s a bit of material left from the curtains in the blue parlour.’
‘I can sew it. But I’ll need new boots,’ Louisa added. Her toes were starting to feel numb in her too-tight ones.
‘Mine have grown too small, if you don’t mind having second-hand,’ Lily offered. ‘Mrs Barker has already purchased a new pair for me.’
Louisa patted the maid’s hand. ‘I would be most grateful.’
Mrs Hatch touched the end of Louisa’s nose. ‘And I’ve trimmed a straw bonnet that would look very fetching on ye.’
‘Lady Rockingham has so many pairs of gloves she wouldn’t notice if one went astray,’ offered Miss Talley. She was her aunt’s lady’s maid, and a handsome middle-aged woman with a trim figure and lovely auburn hair.
Goodman cleared his throat. ‘I could take the gig and drive you to your uncle’s vicarage in Somerset, my lady. I’m not allowed to drive the carriage any more... Me not being fancy enough for the Countess.’
Hope filled Louisa’s chest for the first time in years, but she didn’t want to hurt these servants who had been kinder to her than her family...who had loved her when no one else did.
‘But won’t you all get into trouble?’
‘For what?’ the butler said in his snobbish tones. Meadows was more polished than a duke, and looked like one with his dark hair and aquiline nose.