“Pleeeeeease, help me, Spenny. I can’t do this without you.”
The thing is…I’m already in. Whatever it is, I’m here for it, because I’m not going to let Grinder get away from me that easily. Not now that I can finally see a future for myself. For us. Never in a million years did I think that would be possible but it is, and I’m not giving up on what we could have together at the first sign of trouble.
This isn’t the way I would have chosen to do things, but at this point, we’re out of options. The law isn’t on our side and as much as I’d like to keep my hands clean, I’m ready to do whatever it takes.
“You filling me in or do I have to make some threat that you know damn well I won’t follow through with?” Leaning one hand on the bed, I give her a very judgy half-grin, my brows raised in expectation.
“Well…” She drags the word out and holds up a finger when her phone buzzes, effectively telling me to wait before she finishes reading whatever it is and lifts her head. “The Butcher has delivered.” She throws her phone onto the bed and claps her hands together. She should look joyful, but with the big puffy eyes full of revenge, I just want to hug her again. “Fancy driving me just outside of town to see a man about a dog? And by that, I mean…” She raises her eyebrows a few times, nodding her head in a way that tells me I know what she means—I don’t. “I got some toys to pick up so I’m not empty handed…” She trails off, waiting for me to get it. And I do…now.
Great.
Our first illegal thing together. Picking up weapons from a backstreet dealer. We’ll be best friends before we know it.
“And then…” I tilt my head, curious as I resist the urge to dramatically roll my eyes.
“I haven’t got any further than that yet. Waiting on The Butcher for more. C’mon, Spenny, it’s been what? Five minutes? He’s already sorted one thing. I have no doubt the rest of what we need is on the way.” She’s up and rooting through the drawers as soon as she finishes talking.
“You are aware my main skillset is to fix people. I’m good for driving, but anything else and I’ll just be a liability.” My mood shifts as I realize what’s about to happen. I’m down this rabbit hole so far and I should feel wrong about everything. Planningcriminal activitiesshouldmake me feel bad. But as it stands, I know this is the way it’s supposed to be. Doing bad shit for good reasons is apparently becoming my thing.
“Fuck off with that shit.” She pops her head up and glares at me before continuing her search for I don’t know what.
“It’s not shit. I’m just being honest. You need to know what you’re working with. I’m down for whatever your plan is, yes, but I feel like a spare part.” I sigh and shake my head, my eyes beginning to water as the truth really comes out. The painful emotions that have been rampant since discovering Grinder and Kincaid are missing are all pushing to the surface at once and now I’m unable to keep pushing them down. “I think I’m a bad omen. My last boyfriend was murdered in front of me and…” I don’t think I can say it, but Parker’s looking at me now, kneeling on the bed in front of me. “If anything happens to them, Parker, I…it’s gonna break me.”
Quicker than the tears really begin falling, she hugs me, comforting me the same way I did for her, pulling my head into her chest and stroking her hand through my hair.
“You and me, Spenny. We’re a team. And you are just as fucking important as the air we breathe, d’ya hear me? Without you, the calm, steady, funny-as-fuck man that you are, I would be a fuckin’ mess rockin’ in the corner. No way I’d be able to get my ADHD superpower on and get shit done. We’re yin and yang. Totally opposite, but each with a little of the other inside them and both needed.” She speaks into my hair and the warmth is comforting.
It’s strange, though, because she’s right. It’s like we synched our breakdowns so the other can comfort them. Each of us with our own strengths boosting the other’s weaknesses.
I allow myself a few minutes to feel what I’m feeling, hugging her back but not speaking before we pull apart.
She palms the sides of my face and looks into my eyes, then she slaps my cheeks.
“He’s coming home. We got this, yeah?”
Her fearlessness is catching and I find myself smiling as I huff a deep breath and nod.
“Yeah. But if you slap my cheeks again, I’m doing it back.” I smirk and wipe away my tears.
Parker’s eyes widen with mock-surprise as she cups her own cheeks and feigns innocence.
“Ooh, I didn’t think we were there yet.” She winks. “But I love a good spanking.”
Chapter Thirty
Parker
The bedroom smells like freshly baked pastries and I’m here for it. The coffee I couldn’t care less for, but the tea? Oh, yes. It’s obvious that Sabrina has been making it for a while because she has it spot on.
I sign the words ‘thank you’ before she leaves, grateful that it’s the same in ASL as it is in BSL because I don’t particularly want to offend the amazing tea fairy. Even though she isn’t actually deaf, Grinder explained that she has never spoken and prefers to do so with sign language. One of the clubs The Butcher looks after in the UK is run by a deaf lady, and I learned a few things to better communicate whenever I was sent in as security.
“Right, get that scran down ya neck, we got shit to do.” I gesture toward the tray of goodies on the dresser and bounce to the other side of the room. My knee still twinges, but I’ve had worse and the strap I’m wearing is helping.
“If scran is food, then I’m not really hungry.” Spencer picks up a circular pastry, turning it over in his hand a few times before putting it down again with a sigh.
After our little outing for supplies yesterday—that are neatly tucked away in my new backpack—Spencer took me to Maribel’s to pick up some clothes, then we stopped by his house and grabbed Pepper, the cat. Because apparently, now we have a cat.
As I dress, I don’t take my eyes off him. Pepper is curled up beside him on the bed, which I’ve been told is unusual, and I don’t doubt it because I swear that cat is planning on murdering me in my sleep. I was surprised to wake up this morning with my eyeballs still intact.