Old people isn’t going to work for me.
Lovers sounds like we’re in some kind of highbrow movie that nobody understands at the end. We may not be total hicks, but we’re far from bougie.
Soulmates is a mouthful and the only time I like that is, well, when my mouth is full of cock or pussy. Occasionally carrot cake. That works, too.
Lovebirds? Maybe if we were eighty. No, not then either.
Without another word, I leave Mia in Spence’s capable hands and sink down into the old, leather, reclining chair, my phone in hand and my concentration on point. I barely even register Parker sitting on my lap.
“What are you do—? Ohhh.” Her question dies mid asking when she reads my search bar. She gets it. “Wow, that’s a lot. Who knew? Humans aren’t even up on that list, we’re so mid.”
“Kinda makes you wonder why we get so much slack, doesn’t it?” I’m scrolling through the choices, bypassing the apes because nothing about them screams sexy or cute.
“What about them?” I look at where Parker is pointing and there it is. It ticks all the boxes.
Fun, trouble makers, a little psychotic but also committed and loving. And damn, they’re the most fluid animals in the fucking kingdom.
“It’s fucking perfect, Stabby-poo.” I get a punch in the thigh for that so I do the only thing I can. Flip her around and the fuse my lips to hers, kissing her deep and hard until her entire body melts into me and my dick is begging me to just get them back to our room and fuck until we’re all dead.
Figuratively speaking, of course.
“Y’all need to get a room, seriously.” Mia’s grinning from ear to ear as she chastises me.
I know she’s happy without us even talking about it. Despite her kidnapping and her abuse I had to witness, she seems to be handling everything well enough. Sadly, this isn’t even a top three of the horrendous things that have happened to her. Knowing her, she’s locked this whole experience down tight and will revisit and cope when she’s ready. It’s her M.O. and I won’t fuck it…yet.
“I agree, little sis. I’m taking my dolphins back to my room and we’re going to partake in some watersports of our own making.” My words have their intended effect.
Mia pretends to choke on vomit while Spencer, ever the professional, furrows his brows and gives me a what-the-fuck look that is fucking cute. I want to lick it off his face.
I may actually start with that.
“Put the TV on before y’all leave.” I grab the remote on my way to kiss her on the forehead when she continues. “With the volume on loud as fuck.”
I flick the tip of her nose with my thumb and forefinger. “Listen to you, talking like a badass.”
“Taught by the best.” We smile at each other and there’s a moment of gratitude that passes between us. We may not be blood but we’re tight, and that’s all that matters.
“And don’t you forget it. Now, eat and be good. Also, do not talk to any of the club members. They stick their dicks in way too many pussies. I don’t wanna have to kill’ em for mistakin’ you for an available good time.” I tuck her back in and grin. It’s my devilish one because I know Mia and she’s about to test my brotherly love and support.
“What if I wanna be a good time girl? Nothin’ wrong with that, it’s what you always said.”
I laugh outright and Parker shoots fake guns at me.
“She got you there,Grin-der.” Stressing both syllables of my name, Parker winks at Mia, and now that they’ve ganged up on me, I’m assuming they’re besties.
“Whatever. If you want to be responsible for my murders, I’m down.” I shrug. Like I haven’t already killed for both of them.
With a pat on her leg and the remote in her hand, we all leave her to rest. It’s Saturday and she’ll have to go back to campus tomorrow to prepare for her finals. Which means we need to get our shit together for her graduation. The whole fucking club is going because family supports family and one of ours is one to all.
As soon as I close her door, my thoughts do a one-eighty and I’m solely focused on the next few hours of our lives.
“Dolphins?” Spencer’s question is coupled with a quick shake of his head, like our crazy is becoming our normal.
“Yes, Spenny, dolphins. It was almost bonobos because the males like to rub same-sex genitals and that gives the females orgasms. Sounds fun.” Parker opens our door while going through the list of animals we quickly read though earlier, andthere were a lot. In fact, I’m convinced there aren’t any uniquely straight animals in all of the kingdom. Not even the guppies.
“I cannot with y’all, seriously.” Spencer chuckles and I can’t tell if he’s amused or looking for the red exit sign out of this crazy throuple because I’m too focused on the way his ass is hugged by those jeans.
“Well, doesn’t matter now anyway. The days where you could bow out of this are long gone, Doc.” My voice is low, lust-induced, and I’ve got only one thing on my mind.