MEADOW
The last few days have been a whirlwind. And I’ve been more than happy to be caught in it. It’s probably better that I’ve been so busy and haven’t been able to think about what I’m about to do, except during the night when everything has the chance to catch up with me.
It’s in those moments that I’m not sure if I’m making the right choice. Sure, I’m helping Rook out and I want to believe everything he said when he showed up at my house the other night. I gave myself to him then, without reservation. I wanted him; I still want him.
As much as I want to believe the words he said, I’m afraid they were just pretty lies. My heart is on the line. If I give into what he seems to be asking for—a real chance at making this marriage last—then I put myself at risk.
It would be so easy to fall into this with the hope that he’ll be there to catch me.
I smooth the simple white sundress I’m wearing down, even though I don’t need to. It’s just automatic at this point and an attempt to hide my nerves. But I don’t think it’s working, considering the way my best friends are eyeing me.
Mayer, ever practical, steps closer to me and lowers her voice, “If you don’t want to do this, we can get you out of here.”
The fierce tone of her words tells me she is completely serious. And I don’t doubt she’s come up with some sort of contingency plan just in case. I can almost picture her throwing a jacket over my head and rushing me away from the judge’s chambers we’re supposed to step into.
It might be a simple ceremony, but Rook asked the judge if we could do some things to make it feel like a real wedding. Which is why I’m standing outside of the judge’s chambers while waiting for my cue. My three best friends, who are all wearing colorful dresses, are going to walk down the aisle ahead of me.
No flowers.
No frills.
Just the man I’m about to marry waiting on the other side, a judge, and my girls.
It’s exactly what I want for the ceremony. I have no doubt the party that my best friends have put together will make up for the low-key ceremony.
I didn’t want something big and fancy. It’s just not me. And something about it feels dishonest since I’m not sure how real this marriage will be.
Even with everything Rook said the night he came to me.
“No,” I shake my head, “I’m not running.”
“Okay,” Mayer agrees easily and stands up straight, “but I had to offer.”
“Thanks,” I murmur softly and she smiles at me before pulling me into a quick hug.
It’s exactly what I need.
With my best friends surrounding me, standing beside me, as I step into this new chapter of my life. Even though I have no idea how the story ends. Maybe no one does. Even when you think you know the ending, life has a way of proving you wrong.
When the doors open, my eyes immediately go to Rook. He’s standing next to the judge’s desk; his head bowed until the sound of the doors opening hits him. His head snaps up and his brown eyes find me immediately.
The way his gaze sweeps down my body and then back up has my cheeks heating. Appreciation and hunger shine in his eyes. My nipples pebble with the way he’s looking at me.
I want him.
Because I know what kind of pleasure he can give me. Over the last few days, he’s been very diligent in showing me just how good he can make me feel. He’s been spending every night in bed with me intent on convincing me that giving this a real chance is the right thing to do.
I really don’t need more convincing. I’m all in; I can feel it.
Rook’s eyes turn glassy with unshed tears, and my breath catches in my throat. That look. It’s real. He’s looking at me like I’m the only person in the room; it makes my heart skip a beat.
He is the only thing I can focus on as I move closer. When I stop in front of him, he reaches for my hands. His grip is firm as his thumb moves over my knuckles. The way he’s touching me grounds me and helps to calm all my nerves.
Maybe this can really work.
I’m barely able to pay attention to what the judge says. The ceremony is short, but I don’t mind. When I’m asked if I take Rook as my husband, my voice comes out strong, “I do.”
The smile that lifts his lips isn’t weighed down by the grief that has been clinging to him since I saw him at the funeral. It makes my heart feel lighter at the sight of it. I hope that I’m good for him and can help him work through the pain of losing the last person who mattered to him in his life.