“So, what you’re telling me is Evan is nothing like Devante.”
I don’t bother responding. He’s right. Evan is nothing like Devante. He pays his own way and the first thing he said last night was he will not take money from me. Instead of trusting his word, I let my past get the best of me and refused to trust him. Looks like Evan isn’t the only one with trust issues.
“Thanks for the coffee.” I leave my mug on the counter and rush toward the door.
“What are you going to do?”
“Go talk to Evan. He needs to know the truth about my past. He trusted me with his secret. I have to trust him with mine.”
“See you at practice,” Tyson says following me to the door. “Don’t let hot office sex make you late.”
I step onto the elevator and flip him off right before the door closes.
Less than an hour later, I’m standing in the hallway outside of Evan and Hope’s offices, wiping my sweaty palms on my shorts and trying to calm the anxiety that’s beenbuilding the entire drive here. Admitting what I allowed Devante to do is like admitting weakness and I never want Evan to think I’m weak. One last deep breath before I walk into the office. Hope is sitting at her desk and I can see Evan in his office, typing away on his computer.
“Good morning. You can go in,” she tells me.
Slowly, I walk the short distance to the doorway and knock on the jamb. Evan looks up from his computer and smiles.
“Good morning,” he greets, standing up and walking to me. When he gets close, his demeanor changes. “Are you okay?”
“Do you have a few minutes to talk?” His face falls as he nods and turns to step away from me. I reach out, gently grabbing his arm and pulling him to me as I enter the office and close the door behind me. “It’s not about you. We are perfect.”
He instantly relaxes against me, wrapping his arms around me and melting some of my nerves away. This is what I need. His arms. His touch. His encouragement, even when he doesn’t know he’s giving it.
“Let’s sit.” We sit on the small couch opposite his desk, where he likes to kick off his shoes and work in the afternoons. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”
I dive into a diatribe about Devante, our relationship, and all the things he did to me. I even admit to paying the asshole off to make him go away. Then I tell him the words that are going to hurt. I know because thinking them hurts me, but I have to be completely honest with the man I love.
“Ever since last night, all I can think about is ‘here I go again, letting someone use me for my money.’ I know it isn’t true and you aren’t doing that, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop the thoughts. It’s been eating away at me to the point I barely slept last night.” I continue by telling himabout my visit with Tyson this morning. “I love you, Evan, and I’m sorry I let my past push me to a dark place, where I convinced myself you were going to do the same.”
Evan is quiet for too long. He stares at the floor, out the window, at the painting on the wall, everywhere, but at me. I can see the hurt in his eyes. After minutes that start to feel like hours, he finally looks at me.
“Is that all? Are there any more secrets about you or your past that you’re keeping from me?”
“No. That’s it.”
“Good. I don’t have any other secrets, either. That means, it’s time to move forward and stop letting past mistakes run our lives. We both made mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. Relationships are about trust and communication. Now that we’ve finally communicated effectively, we can build a strong foundation of trust and love.
TWENTY-NINE
EVAN
This trip is going to be great. I’m looking forward to being with our families for Thanksgiving. We flew to New Jersey late Tuesday night after Isaac’s practice and spent all morning sleeping. We get to stay until Friday night, but that means taking a late flight and not getting home until after midnight. His coach wasn’t happy about him missing two practices, but he allowed it so we can check on Aiden.
Since we grew up about an hour from each other, Isaac rented a large house from Tuesday to Sunday on the beach in Cape May for our families to enjoy. It’s less than a four-hour drive for both families, which isn’t too bad. Hopefully, Aiden won’t be too uncomfortable during the ride.
I wish we had more time, but at least we get to see them, and they can enjoy the house for a couple of extra days. I think he rented the house more for Aiden than anyone else. He will be in casts for several more weeks and might need another surgery on his leg. We talked to him a few days ago and he’s going stir crazy. He can’t work or go to school, andother than doctors’ appointments, he’s been mostly confined to the house.
My parents came in yesterday afternoon and checked us into the house, bought groceries, and made sure everything was ready for everyone else to arrive. Isaac’s family will be here in a few hours. Owen has to work until one then they’ll make the drive to Cape May. The area is full of Victorian houses, pristine beaches, a promenade with shops and restaurants, a zoo, fishing excursions, and more. We came here once when I was a teenager and I fell in love with the area. When Isaac suggested it for our family vacation, I was on board without hesitation.
Nerves ate at me on the drive from the airport. I didn’t know what to expect when I introduced my parents to Isaac. They have always supported me and even when they knew Mike wasn’t right for me, they were civil to him. Mom and Isaac hit it off right away. They were laughing and joking in the kitchen as she fed my man a plate of cookies she baked while waiting for us to arrive. Dad and Isaac enjoyed a snort of bourbon on the balcony while I showered. After Isaac disappeared upstairs for his own shower, my parents let me know how much they like him. It caused my heart to soar.
The house Isaac chose is a beautiful three-story Victorian with six bedrooms and four bathrooms. We made sure our parents got the two bedrooms with private bathrooms. Aiden, Isaac, and I are sharing a bathroom and Owen and the girls are sharing one. We put them in the two bedrooms on the third floor. Isaac also made sure he found a house with an elevator so it’s easily accessible for Aiden. He’s in a wheelchair since the cast on his arm goes almost all the way to his shoulder keeping him from being able to use crutches.
It’s after twelve when Isaac finally wakes up. I haven’t been up much longer and other than saying a quick hello tomy parents and grabbing a cup of coffee, I haven’t been out of the room. I was still exhausted when I woke up about an hour ago, but couldn’t fall back asleep, so I’ve been sitting in the chair by the window, enjoying the ocean view, sipping on my coffee, and reading a book. I can’t remember the last time I finished a book. It’s been months, maybe close to a year. Mike didn’t allow such frivolousness in our relationship, and I’ve been too busy between work and Isaac to think about reading. The murder mystery I started when my parents were in town is sitting unfinished on my dresser.
“Good morning,” Isaac’s sleepy voice calls from the bed.