Today isn't real. It can't be.
Everything's hazy around the edges, like I'm watching myself from outside of my body. Concentrating? Forget it. The cards in my hand might as well be written in a language I've never spoken.
Beneath the table, Ace's heel comes down on my boothard. Though he tries to crush my toes into powder, I don't feel a thing. I can't. Not whensheis taking up every inch of space inside my skull.
I haven't told my brother I've got a girlfriend.
Myfirstgirlfriend. Even better, it's with one of the prettiest women in this building. Hell, who am I kidding? In this entire town.
Fake or not, the word sits in my chest like a lit match. Just thinking about it makes the back of my neck prickle. Makes the leather of my cut feel too warm against my skin.
My brain is stuck in a loop—the way Bunny felt in my arms. Her spine against my palms. The way she tucked under my chin like she'd been built to fit there.
There was a part of me, once. A tiny, stupid part that wondered what it'd be like to get my hands on her, but it was small. I never let myself entertain it because I thought some lucky bastard was already calling her his.
Now I can't stop thinking about hugging her again. Breathing her in. That sweet smell—perfume, shampoo, whatever the hell it is—clinging to her like she's been rolling in something addicting like a drug.
I feel another thump of Ace's boot, and I shift, already feeling my cock uncomfortably grazing denim. As if my body has finally figured out its function, I've been hard since she waltzed off with a wave of cheerfulness radiating off of her.
Jesus.I don't even know how to will down an erection. Never had to. Never felt anything strong enough to need the skill. This woman’s the only one to make this a problem.
"Smoke?" Across from me, Will lifts a brow as he waits for me to make my call. Far more painless than my brother's attempt to get my attention.
Blinking, I look at my cards and remember what I'm in the middle of. Ace wanted me to get back the money I'd purposely lost when I folded, and he encouraged me to sit next to him so I could fill him in on what's going down in between games.
He's too impatient at still being clueless after two games. I'm still trying to absorb the information myself.
I guess for a few minutes, I can focus on something that isn't the gorgeous black-haired woman.
Grabbing a small stack of chips, I slide it toward the others. "Raise."
There are a few grumblings next to me as one player folds. Ace flicks at his cards like he's trying to decide if it's worth raising or not. With one player left with us, one with far too many chips at his disposal, I lean back before my brother takes it as a sign to raise again. Instead of sliding his chips, he tosses them in with the others and sighs.
We've always done this, reading each other by the smallest of behaviors. Hell, growing up in our foster home, it's a tool we perfected growing up when "disrupting the peace" was worth punishment. Now look at us, using our talents for far better reasons.
Now that I know he's got a shit hand, I can wrap up this game and move on.
I've got matters to handle, and can't do much until I give my brother what he wants.
Our other player curses and folds after I raise one last time. Just enough to make him hesitate to take the bite or not. After Ace folds, and it's time to reveal, my brother hisses under his breath when I reveal a single pair. Guess I've won.
"Why in the hell would you bet so much on a shit hand?" Watching me collect my winnings, Ace clicks his tongue but still pats my shoulder as a small way to congratulate me for a win that was more than risky.
The other two are smart to leave our table and find another table with fewer risk-takers. It's the constant flow of different faces that helps keep our act going without raising suspicion among those we're cheating on.
"Guess I'm just feeling really lucky today." Moving to stand, I don't miss his groan when he realizes my intention of leaving. "Going to turn these in and then do a round or two."
"Boo." Pursing his lips, he plays with his remaining chips like he's considering if he wants to run solo before hesitating. "Wait, do you think I can bounce early? Penny's got a babysitter tonight, and I really want to take her out. Having some extra time to prepare would be really nice."
I'm considering telling him about Bunny's stalker, so I have some form of backup if needed. We've always had each other's backs, and having him gone because he's a sap for his old lady makes me feel exposed in a way that I'm not used to. Still, seeing him grinning at the idea of enjoying themselves, I nod.
I care about his happiness too much, and after everything we've been through, he deserves something pleasant to come into his life.
Although he might be the best person to ask about managing these feelings stirring inside me, I think I'd prefer to get shot in both kneecaps than ask my brother what to do about what is going on in my jeans. Guess I'll have to figure out that part on my own.
"I'll let you know if anything comes up." Nodding, I almost crack a smile when he's already jumping up to his feet, going on a ramble about impressing Penny with a fancy dinner and a decent ride toward a city a few miles south.
Giving Will our thanks, we move to cash in before separating ways. Now alone, I drift around the building. Keeping my eyes peeled for anything out of the norm, it doesn't take me long to find Bunny. Then again, that's never been a challenge, has it? She's a beauty who easily attracts anyone with eyes.