Now if I could just figure out how to make things work between Ava and I without completely destroying my relationship with Coach.
AVA
I can’t believethis is actually working. I mean, the exercise is popular for a reason, but trying to get through to these guys has been like bashing my head against a brick wall and now all of a sudden, after a few tears, they’re just laying it all out there?
Are you really surprised?
Now that I’m thinking about it, both my father and Knox have proven to be protective, so maybe it’s just in the hockey player DNA.
Either way, I’m not going to complain. Not when things are finally going my way.
Despite the rocky start to the evening—and Fedorov’s fists of fury—this discussion could be the turning point we need. The guys on the team are finally connecting on a deeper level, and that’s always a good thing.
Most of the fears were anonymous, but a few were identifiable, like Knox’s. I’m really proud of him for being that vulnerable. McGinnis too.
It couldn’t have been easy to admit he was afraid of being judged poorly by the men he grew up cheering for. In the eyes of the law, he’s a grown man, but a lot of guys his age are still in college or living at home with their parents. It’s a lot ofpressure being on his own and playing in the NHL considering his prefrontal cortex isn’t even fully formed yet.
There’s only one slip of paper left in the bag as I hold it out to Cunningham. Beside him, Davis’s leg is bouncing a mile a minute. He’s been jittery all evening and hasn’t said much, which isn’t unusual, but…
“I’m worried my time in the NHL is going to end with a team where I don’t belong instead of on the team where I spent my entire career, and it’s disheartening.”
The Gliders are an expansion team, so there are any number of guys who could’ve written the note, but I know in my gut it’s Kristiansen. He was a last-minute pickup prior to the start of the season, and he’s only been with the team for a few weeks.
Paired with tonight’s on-ice fight, it’s a no-brainer.
“Uncertainty can be difficult to manage, especially when it feels like you have no control and you’re grieving the loss of the future you envisioned,” I say, watching to see how the rest of the team responds.
Graves snorts. “Come on, Kristiansen. Do you really expect us to feel sorry for you when it’s obvious you don’t give a fuck?”
“I didn’t ask for your pity,” he says through gritted teeth. “I was simply writing my truth, just like the rest of you.”
“It sucks that the Rangers put you on waivers,” Knox says, ever the diplomat. “It’s every player’s worst fear, but you’re here now, why not make the most of it?”
That’s the real question. The one that gets to the heart of the matter.
Kristiansen goes rigid and a muscle in his jaw tics. “I played my whole career in New York. I was loyal and productive, and none of this was supposed to happen.” He shakes his head. “When the Rangers waived me, I was told it was only a temporary move, for the salary cap. They said no one was going to claim me because teams like to give their own guys a chancecoming out of training camp. So imagine my surprise when I got the call and learned I had forty-eight hours to get my ass to Atlanta.”
“That was one hell of a gamble,” D-Vo says, looking sympathetic.
“Tell me about it.” Kristiansen huffs out a breath. “So you’ll excuse me if I have a chip on my shoulder. Last year wasn’t a great year for me personally, and getting waived and claimed by Atlanta like hired muscle didn’t exactly sit right.”
“Hired muscle.” Fedorov all but spits the words. “It seems they misjudged you.”
“You’re goddamn right,” Kristiansen shoots back, dropping his ice pack on the seat next to him. “I’ve worked my ass off to become more than just an enforcer, and I won’t have my skill reduced to how hard I can throw a punch.”
Knox leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You got served a shit sandwich. There’s no denying it. I’d be pissed too if I was in your skates, but if Coach thought your only value was in keeping the opposition in check, he wouldn’t have put you on the second line.”
“Yeah,” Doyle says, smirking. “If he just wanted you to mess some guys up, you’d be on the fourth line with Graves.”
If Doyle’s expecting a reaction from the winger, he doesn’t get it. Graves simply shrugs, nonplussed. “I know my role on this team, and I’m perfectly happy with it.”
I can’t fault his logic. He may not be a star player, but he’s getting paid to play a game he loves, and real talk? You don’t get a nickname like The Reaper unless you take obvious pleasure in your work.
“I guess what I’m saying is, I should’ve been more welcoming these last few weeks,” Knox says, clasping his hands together. “It couldn’t have been an easy transition, and our style of playis much different from the Rangers, but after the hit you put on Davis last year, I guess I was a little wary.”
“That was an accident.” Kristiansen’s voice is low and wrought with tension. “I apologized to Davis. More than once. If I could take it back, I would, but I can’t.”
“Hey,” Davis says, looking up for the first time. “We’re good, man.”